Bumpy Start

Score: +2

Today was a day of distractions. I had real life wholly override work. Thankfully, we really just have 4 more appointments to go to. But also this week I have my vasectomy which will cause me to miss Friday as well. Plus I’m picking up and dropping off Tristan this week as Amanda can’t drive. We have him this week. So I’m feeling a tad overwhelmed. But this is what life is all about, one thing after another. You have to cope because that’s what it is to survive in the real world. If you get knocked down, get up. 

I know this is going to clear up by mid next week, but it’s going to be crazy getting there. I get panicky just thinking about everything that still needs to happen. But then I take a deep breath, and slow it all down. Just get through tomorrow. Don’t think beyond what you can see. Stay in the box; the box is safe. 

I’m hard on myself when I need to be helping myself out. I’m the only one I can truly count on, as long as it’s a united front. That’s the bitch about being mentally ill: how often are we united? Briefly, at best?  

I had a fun chat with Will tonight. It was good to catch up. He helps me feel more real, less floaty. I was starting to get worked up but now I feel fine. 

I’m going to go have a chat with Amanda and then go to bed.