Well blog, I’m sad to say that my blog and its brutal honesty has cost me my limited credibility with Amanda’s ex husband. It’s true that there have been some really horrible posts, back there a ways, but that’s what being honest is. I’m telling the story as I experience it. It’s not for public consumption, it’s the private struggle of life as mentally ill person. But any attention to the scores on my posts and it will become clear that things are often great now, stable, and regular. I do go downhill sometimes, but not dangerously so. Far from it, in fact. Each downward slide followed by a recovery and return to rhythm. I’ve been rock solid stable for close to 4 years now, and employed for more than two. If I were dangerously dysfunctional, how could I maintain that kind of life? It’s not possible. You are either committed to improving, or falling behind. I’m fighting my way to a normal life, and every day is a struggle. But I am confidant in myself and I know I am a good person, an honest person. I’m committed to doing what’s right, and helping people. Does this sound like someone we should all be concerned about?
So now you know all the horrible shit I’ve done to myself and others. So what? I’m real, and I really did go through all of that, and this blog is how I coped with it all. If it concerns you, GOOD! It concerns me too. I don’t want to go back to the place where I was suffering, I rather enjoy my current reality and I’m proud to be in it.
Believe me or don’t believe me, the proof is already here. A thousand truths all piled up over 4 years. I came a long way to get where I am right now. A long way, and I’m glad to say I’m the best I’ve ever been. Plus, I’m not going anywhere.
Hope that makes sense.