I need to change what I’m doing. It’s one thing to say you want to change, but then actually never do it. I know I have to break the cycle. It takes dramatic action. I have applied this to my life. 

I need to return to sobriety. I feel like the world is crumbling away on all sides. I need to stop flying around in the atmosphere and come down to earth. Though, it hasn’t felt much like flying lately. All the more reason to stop. This part, we are done with for now. 

I need to prove to myself that I can click-in and get back to a pattern of success. One that I must set for myself, while also jolting myself free from the wrong pattern. I believe dramatic action can yield positive outcomes. Sometimes it’s necessary in order to advance life forward. 

I want to have a good night’s sleep tonight. I talked to Amanda and she read my blog and appreciates it. I’m calling her tomorrow after her ECT is over to see how she did. I’ll be thinking of all the ways I can show Amanda that I’m still here and I want to be a part of this life. It’s up to me now.