Internal Debriefing

This last week has been solid. Everything seems to be shaping up for a run at stability. My discipline and mindfulness continue as I practice both daily, and my attitude is positive. I’ve been doing excellently at work and have reached a turning point. I felt as though I needed a dramatic change in perspective. I took a step back, and reassessed. I still have trouble with my nagging anxieties and bad thoughts. I do the best I can to reveal them as rediculous or irrelevant. That’s the ongoing struggle. Other than that, I have largely achieved my goal of re-analyzing my life. 

I need to be more aware of myself and my patterns. I have done some good work putting up boundaries for some things, but not everything. I need to be aiming to regulate and get the whole situation under control. It’s up to me to make that change, and I must if I am ever to succeed in my goals. Willpower must be the umbrella under which all, of relevance,  are sheltered. 

I know I am doing good, but I can continue to improve. Most importantly, I need to continue to demonstrate stability and acceptance to Amanda. Her journey is hers to walk and not mine to redirect or otherwise effect. I have my own life to manage. I have no grounds to be telling anyone else how to live theirs. She’s finding a way though this and I need to be there to back her up, and being there for her is exactly what I am going to continue to do. 

She makes me feel grounded and real, and can remind me of what’s important about life. When things get hard, we can always help each other. I have a friend and a partner, and although we are still building our trust, it is being strengthened with time. I know I want to be here going forward. This life has brought me peace and prosperity. I intend to keep it that way. 

So I hope you have a good weekend. 

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