It’s about living up to what I deserve. Right now, I have done a lot to come about from my previous trend. I am hoping to dig myself out of a hole both mentally and physically, and I need to purge. Where I am now is not good enough. I’m dropping cannabis again. I’m ramping up my exercise. I have been meditating every night, and I’m feverishly blogging along the way. I want to feel better, more energized by my life, more in control. I feel like the more I indulge, the less I am in tune with what’s important. I shouldn’t be running from my life, I should be grabbing it by the horns. It’s been a somewhat gradual process, but I really feel this is needed. Now, more than ever, I need to rally and take charge. Amanda is trying to rebuild her castle, and my strength and unwavering dedication will help her find what she’s looking for.
I don’t know blog. These are stressful times. This week has kept me busy. I’m handling it though. I just need to be thinking at my most clear. I need to be the most stable I have been. I owe this to myself, because I have not lived up to my own expectations. I deserve better. I am better. And now I need to go prove it.