Score: +3

This is not a good thing. The last two days, my anxiety has been running at system-critical high levels. Amanda and I have been discussing possible triggers, but almost everything falls into that category. On football Sunday, I was out of my mind. I did 1.5 miles on the elliptical and took two warm sit-down showers… nothing. No reduction of symptoms. And things that continue to trigger me are relics from the past that have no implication now. Such as things that might have made me anxious years ago, situations at old jobs, awkward interactions, but why are they relevant now? I can literally feel my blood pressure spiking, and my breathing constricted. It’s not ideal. 

Work was fine today. Had my fingers in many pies. I’m feeling increasingly confident there. New round of evaluations coming up so that will be keeping me occupied for a while. 

Amanda had ECT this morning and the doctor prescribed her a stimulant to help her with her energy and clarity of thought. I’m hopeful it will benefit her, and we will just have to wait and see over the next few days. My mom has been helping out bigtime with getting her to The hospital and back. Oh, and I will be 33 on Sunday. We’re supposed to have dinner at my parent’s place: I requested Jesus Christ alpha and omega burgers with bacon and guacamole. Phe-nom-i-nal. Needless to say. 

I went 2-0 again this weekend even when I was sure I would lose the more important of the two games. Dropped my cousin last week and she was in the championship with me last year, and dropped the guy who beat me in the championship the year before this week. Vengeance is a dish best served on a gridiron. So both my teams are 3-1, with a very uncertain future ahead. I’m scrambling for waiver wire moves this week as injuries have become a problem. 

Well, I’m going to bed. Still have a very fast moving carousel in my mind, which I know will be better tomorrow. Goodnight.