Settling

Score: +3

Well the move is essentially over. I’m in my new studio apartment sleeping on my bed that has been in storage for a year plus. Finally, the dust is settling. It was a brutal stretch there early in the week; I even had a colonoscopy on Monday. On that note, I’ve been on this kick to try and get myself healthy, starting with a screening for cancer. It is the main killer on both sides of my family. I had polyps but they removed them and will biopsy. Hopefully they’re not cancerous. 

But seriously, I’m doing much better now that the move is over. It was hard work and very stressful. I’m glad we are done with that stage. Don’t misinterpret my situation; I’m still seeing Amanda, and we have not broken up. We just realized that her life is imploding and mine would have gone along with it if I had stayed living with her. She’s in deep transition, and hopefully there will be relief for her soon. Her disability case is strong, and she is also filing for bankruptcy. I’m helping her as often as I can, and that is a stabalizing force in her life. 

We seem to be bonding better amidst all the strife, on the bright side. 

So transition time and time spent living on my parent’s couch are over. On to this new phase where I live independently and openly. I meet my own budget, I am responsible for only my own shit. I progress through life on my own terms. Things are really looking up. 

My kitchen. Cuties on the counter. 

Need to hang that native art and get a TV stand tomorrow. 

Still have some unpacking to do. The bag behind the couch is my PlayStation 2. 


Bathroom, with my pill organizer on the vanity counter. 

Still missing a bookshelf so I can unpack the few boxes I have left at the foot of my bed, clearly. But other than that, everything is in place. This is my studio, in beautiful Mt. Helix, with a view of all of eastern San Diego county. I’m truly fortunate to have such a place to live, in a multi-unit property with only 1 other rented space in my area (above me). AND those tenants are awesome, genuinely nice people. Couldn’t ask for more. 

Hope you have a good night blog. I am. 

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10 thoughts on “Settling

  1. It’s nice to see that you got moved in and settled. I do hope Amanda is doing a little better. What I gather from another source,she is struggling. I do wish her the best. For you two, fir her, and for the boy. Oh, what is give to play the original play station!

    • I know she is struggling, but not as bad as a few weeks ago. She has more shit completed, more meetings scheduled and a better handle on her situation. I have lots of hope for her. But no one said this would be an easy fix. She’s going to have to work her ass off for the life she wants. I’ll always be there to help her get to a happy, stable place. Thanks for stopping by Sass.

      • She’s so very blessed to have your support, as you are to have hers. You’re right, it’s not an easy fix. I hope it all comes together for her sooner than later, and for you both as well. I was just wondering about how things were when you posted. I’ve been lacking in my blogging…

      • She hasn’t been posting either. When shit gets hard, she retreats inward. I have been monitoring your blogging and have been sad that there is no Sass in my life right now. But Amanda is figuring things out, slowly, surely. My PlayStation is equipped with such epic titles as Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, Katsmari Damacy and Final Fantasy X.

      • I think alot of people retreat inward in western society because of that do it on your own attitude that’s prominent. It’s hard to blog with work and family life, and because Florida reads my posts and takes everything personally when it’s not about him, and prevents me from having my safe place to express myself freely without judgement and get the support we all deserve and need. I don’t even get on fb very much anymore. I’m glad she’s able to figure things out. I know it’s been rough for you two as a couple and individuals. Oh man! Tony Hawk is the SHIT! I never got into final fantasy though. If you have a Gameboy hiding somewhere though…that’s like, best friend status right there.

      • I’m sorry to hear about Florida restricting your posts… that should not be the case. Your blog is sacred territory. It’s your personal coping mechanism and a place to process not be judged. Amanda used to write about me in oft negative ways, but that’s HER blog, not mine. She gets to say whatever she wants on it because I don’t control her. Nor would I want to inhibit her genuine expression. Florida has to understand that.

        You missed being my best friend by about 5 years, when I parted ways with my Gameboy on eBay, along with my telescope.

      • Yes, and I’ve tried to explain that it’s my space to talk about things that happen in my life that do and do not involve him. Like the mental health stuff. He would make comments like my ex does and it triggers me, so I shut down and don’t even try to explain it-because there’s no point at that time. And the age difference is a factor as well. And I take that into consideration as well when I discuss things with him. When I’m finally able to, anyway.
        NOOOOOOO! Not the Gameboy AND telescope! *falls to knees and in dramatic fashion* Why?! Why?! (I’m sure there is a justifiable reason though 😄)

      • That sounds like there are some boundary and communication issues there. I comment on Amanda’s blog all the time, but not to judge but to support and give acknowledgement for good things she does. Being in communication lockdown with your partner is not healthy, and leads to resentment that you are unable to say everything you want to say.

        Yeah, back when I first moved back to San Diego, I needed money to get my life started. I had an 8″ catadioptric SC which was great for viewing feint objects if one was to totally escape city light. I realized I was not going to live in the mountains again so I sold it. I had some Mario games and my Gameboy was just sitting around collecting dust, and I knew it would totally sell on eBay since it was in such good shape. Made about $600 bucks on both. And it helped launch me into a disaster our relationship with Jax. Yippee!!

      • Yeah, they’re are alot of things I’m nor able to talk about our say because I feel I’m being judged or things from my past are brought to the present which have no reason to be there. It’s a work in progress for sure.
        Oh man, I bet you saw some beautiful things with your telescope. A Gameboy and games, wow! Nice profit for both.
        Well, since you’ve learned and grown from that”relationship” yoy can keep on focusing on your relationship with Amanda, and supporting her the best you know how. 💖

      • Yeah I took some pictures of the Moon and of Jupiter + moons. You could see the banding on Jupiter through the 32mm eyepiece. It was fun while I had it. Truly. I’m doing great in my new life and that’s what matters, I agree. Thanks for the conversation Sass. Have a great Saturday!

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