Score: +3.5

I have been the instructor the last 5 days, imparting my collected knowledge and inspiring new thinking for nearly six hours straight. It has been very rewarding thus far, if I may initially summarize. I designed a training program to employ multiple methods of learning: I provide hands-on examples for them to work on, images in the slideshow presentations which are labeled and described, and verbal communication where the objective of the discourse is to resolve a problem one might face while on the phones. So I’ve been reciting procedure, showing examples of the equipment we support, explaining how to identify it, detailing how to troubleshoot it, and so on. It is a lot of material, and I need to make it interesting as well. It’s dry content without the pizazz of a truly inspired instructor. They are going to be the best trained new hires this company has ever seen. It’s going to be obvious. I’m really proud of the curriculum I have developed, and these guys are already getting the material. It’s only a matter of time before they really click.

I’ve been so fucking exhausted, every single day. I have done extra bonus helpful shit all week too, with the sole exception of today. So I’ve had a shit-tank low energy rating, but a skyrocketing mental state due to the new exciting thing I get to do at work. I’m feeling the strain between these two things tonight since it’s Friday and I’m about out of gas. It’s a good night to be alone, in the quiet of my paid for apartment. I just cut an $1,150 rent check and I felt proud to write it. I knew I had done a good job to save enough money to make that check happen, and it felt good. I earned that, you know? This is indeed what it costs to be independent, to be free to control your own fate. I am contingent upon no one anymore. I still cherish those I love, even if I do not reside with them. This is not truly necessary, as long as the relationship remains.

I don’t know what the future will hold though. Things unfolding in the world over the next few months will dictate how our lives will change. In more ways than I will be able to cope with, more than likely. Bit that’s the fucking world for you, right? oh, my, are you down? HOW ABOUT A NICE KICK IN THE THROAT?

You can’t live your life in fear, but you have to also be realistic. Don’t life in a delusion where you are just hoping everything is going to work out. That’s not the the reality of the entropic world we live in. Decay is the master, not growth. You do the best you can to fight against it for as long as possible but eventually it wears you down and reduces you to dust. It’s hard to fight every day, but that’s what makes me proud, and should make us all proud, in our own capacities and potentials. I, personally, only get a short time to be here, and I’m going to try to live it well, and within the limited context of the possible shapes my life could take. I am on an ongoing quest to live a stable and happy life, and that is a difficult thing to achieve. At least, for me.

I’m living the educationally inspired dream! Hope your week was as good as mine!

Woo hoo!