I know it’s been a while since I wrote anything, and that’s a bad mental health behavior. I’m usually at my best when writing because it forces me to be introspective. Frankly, right now I do need to have a hard look inward, so here we are.
My energy has been suffering, but thankfully, recovering as well thanks to this long weekend. I am back on the Buspar after an unwelcome panic attack the other night. Guess it actually was doing something. I feel like training at work really sapped me and I’ve been attempting to recover ever since. It is finally feeling like I will be fresh for next week. I’m aware of the bubbling spring of energy within, infusing me with vitality. Well, maybe it’s not quite that awesome, but somewhere approximate. I just want to have everything back in order so I can transition into next week and be effective.
Amanda and I are getting along, though, there is a point of contention between us. Her friend who she took in for the next few months is not a great person to have around, but someone who also fills a need. Amanda has to have money to stay where she is and the friend has promised to provide. I see friend as a terrible influence and a genuinely sleazy person, which is not great for Amanda as a frame of reference. I just hope she gets through friend time without much incident. I’m not talking to Amanda about friend because we fight every time we do. Amanda is compromising good decision making for money, so that’s pretty much the whole problem right there. But I can do nothing, and now my opinions on the matter will go unheard.
But life is going ok. Things could be much worse. I’m thinking we are about due for an uptick in good events happening. I mean, we totally deserve it after all we’ve been through. My energy will improve and life will get better again. It’s the inevitability of the cycles we all go through as we drift along. My only hope is that we get out from under the pressure and stress and get back to living. Fully.