It’s hard going to work knowing I will not have her to talk to. She used to make me feel not so isolated and different from everyone at work. She was someone who knew who I was and loved me. Now I have banished her and I feel pain. I miss her. She was my lover, and my friend. Now she is neither, and that is hard for me to cope with. It’s familiarity and pattern recognition that are in dissaray. My logical mind is still grounded in the truth of my reality, but detaching from something I spent 2 years building is tough. Just three days after our anniversary. Same thing happened with Jax: a few days after our anniversary it came crashing down. This time things were not dramatic. It just ended. No attempts to save it, no pleas for a second chance, just over. That kinda took me by surprise. I thought she needed me, but I guess she never did. I was always an accessory to her life, never a big part of it. This whole thing has humbled me, and has afforded me ample time to rebuild a sense of identity. That is my next project, which will be debuting soon. For now, I’m still in turmoil.