My nearly two week long infatuation with Carly has come to an end. She is undecided about me and won’t commit to something more real, which has caused a rift. She is still ensnared in her past with her ex, and I remind her of him sometimes, which doesn’t help her forget him. She can’t advance with me, and she feels it would be best if she were alone. I think with her indecisiveness about someone so outstanding such as I am keeping her from making a decision, she needs to break all ties and turn inward. Or at least, that’s what she told me. 

But now I sit here alone again, realizing how solitary my life is, and I’m spiraling. The tears are pouring out of me because now she is gone, the one that was making me feel special. And blog, let me tell you, she made me feel so good. We would have been so sexually compatible it’s not even funny. She and I like it exactalky the same way. There were many things we had in common, and several ways we complimented each other. I was willing to bend my life into hers, and uproot myself. But alas blog, she is gone instead. I’m here in the dark with tears in my eyes because something beautiful was but a few inches away, and then it was ripped away. 

I’m not giving up my search for someone. I’ll continue to play the field until another lead turns up. Or doesn’t. After 6 months, I’m done looking. I’ll just go it solo. She might be out there, but I’m never going to find her. I don’t have much optimism right now, I feel depressed and alone. I just wish someone would love me.