Well blog, I’m smashed into pieces today, but that won’t go on forever. I just need time to sulk and then I will be fine. Lonely, but fine. 

I’m here today feeling the ache of not having her to talk to. We got each other so worked up. Over and over. We had such a great thing building. But apparently she was never that in to me, definitely not worth keeping me around to find out. I thought I was wonderful; gallant and kind all the way through the courtship. I demonstrated the greatness of my outstanding self and I was rejected. I just have a feeling this was all a set up to get me out of the picture. It ended so abruptly. So unexpected given how good a time we seemed to have. We couldn’t stop hugging each other when I was going home. I smelled like her all the way back and I was in a wonderful dream where she was still with me. But that was an illusion. She didn’t have those feelings for me. 

My life is going forward. It hurts right now, but it will go up and out in a positive direction. I will keep looking until I find someone who really wants to love me, and build something of meaning with me too. I have so much love and happiness to give. I will not be taken for granted. I’m proud and strong. I have a flourishing independent life and I am accomplished in my career. I am the PRRFECT person to settle down with, I’m my opinion. I’m a great friend, an avid listener, a trusted ally and a tender lover. I have so much to offer, and so much to gain from the right match. I will push on despite how much it hurts, and I will find her. She’s out there waiting for me, and I will not stop looking until she is mine. 

4 thoughts on “Onward 

    • Amanda and I broke up 3 days after our two year anniversary (about a month ago). I started dating after that and met someone who I started to fall for. But that also has just ended. So I’m feeling a bit.

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