I woke up crying, and continued doing so right through my shower. I put on my work clothes and forced myself out the door because that’s what I must do to advance my life forward. Inside me, a place where love was growing is dead. Drained of its vital energy, all that remains is the empty shell of what could have been. I was feeling alive, and now something beautiful is gone. 

I’m sad and alone when I thought I was in the verge of something special. At this point, I’m tempted to just be her friend and hope she falls for me, but that whole process could still end in her not wanting me. I would be strung out only to be disappointed, like what happened this time. Fantastic evening… no closer to her than I was before, and she probably already had her mind made up that it wasn’t going to work before i even got there . She wanted to be fair and give me a chance but in reality there was nothing I could have done to convince her to be with me. She was already disconnecting, it would seem. Maybe she found someone more interesting to talk to and date. Who knows?

Well blog, today is a stark reminder of how alone I am. Also how alone I will likely continue to be. I’m still in my life and living it, but I am cold and sad. She was the one I really wanted. She fit me so perfectly. But that is over, and not coming back