Forging

We have been conversing all week and have plans together Friday night. We have also made plans to go to Universal Studios on Sunday and spend the day together up there. I would say this is progress.

Things between us have been exploratory, with many home runs and some foul outs. Largely success, and a strengthening of the bond between us has begun. I am beginning to get a clearer idea of who she is, but the real test is time. If many consecutive days of happiness and stability transpire, then I might consider committing. For the time being, we aren’t even officially seeing each other yet, we are just two people dating and talking. I think that I need to help Kendra see how genuinely good I am. She will grow to trust me, once she sees me behave stable and active for a long stretch of time. I need the chance just to be with her and prove what a good influence I can be, and as she can for me.

She already has me excising more than I ever have in decades. I’m exhausting myself every weeknight and improving steadily as the days go by. Eventually I will get down to my target weight of 195, and build muscle mass as I’m losing fat. The Determined Penguin Project will be completed.

You see blog, I have come to the realization that I become similar to my partners in my previous relationships because I emulate their behaviors, moods, responses to things, etc. I adapt to how they are, and become like them to coalesce with them more effectively. I have now realized that this is both something I can prevent from happening, but also a boon if given the correct subject matter. I can emulate someone who is highly motivated, proactive, assertive, curious and clever rather than some one who is lethargic, melancholy and disinterested. I have a chance to be around someone who will change me for the better as a result, and take my life a huge step forward in potential.

I’ve given this all some thought, as you can see. I still need to regulate my emotions, because things were getting out of hand for a time earlier this week. I am pleased to report that the situation is now under control. Eric is the master of his feelings, not mental illness. You don’t always win every fight though.

Blog, this should be an exciting weekend. I’m going to spend a lot of money, but it’s totally going to be worth it. You wait and see. The next blog post I write at the end of Sunday night should be quite the epic.

 

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