My life is all about recovering from calamity, self inflicted or not. How I have come to be as strong and aware as I am was by surviving countless failures, and taking something away from the mess to further myself down the road. This situation is no different, and my plan of action has gone into effect perfectly.
I have managed to retain a great deal of positive momentum in reference to my physical health, and I am excited about beginning this journey. I have a goal in mind and I intend to reach it.
I am re-engaging Carly and this will be a slow steady crawl back to what we had before Kendra came along. We were at a high level of emotional relation and sympathy until it ended, and that fire really never went out. I just had to stash it away and pretend it wasn’t still burning. Even with Kendra, I still fantasized about Carly, and all the explicit things we wrote to each other. I couldn’t just erase her from my mind, and now thankfully, I don’t have to.
I just hope she hasn’t lost interest in me due to me being inconsistent and temporarily unavailable. I don’t think that’s the case but I have anxiety that I too will be replaced, the same way I had to replace her when she was gone. It would be poetic justice, and well deserved.
I’m still optimistic that the future is bright and full of potential. I’m healthy, active and ready to take on the next challenge. I know I’m going to do okay, albeit not without hardship, but I will persevere.