About The Future

This is a tough subject because many variables are still at play. Personally though, the things that are in my control I want to fully address. The rest of it I will need to play on-the-fly. 

Starting off with good mental health. I’m back doing regular therapy again, which is a terrific boost for my mood and introspective capabilities. Margaret and I have good conversations and she points out things I hadn’t taken the time to consider. It’s usually informative to say the least. Plus I’m doing really well on 1500 mg of Lithium Carbonate. 

Sitting here in my bed writing this post, I am tempted to become sad over recent events in my life. In this moment, I am choosing not to downspiral. I am strong, proud and emotionally mature as a person and I should   be treated with respect and compassion. I will not subject myself to anything less than what I deserve. So as I was starting to get sad, I reminded myself of just how fantastic I am. Is she can’t appreciate me for who I am, I’m finding someone who does. 

Is it odd that I’m so nerded out by my Fitbit? I think data collection is fantastic, and data collection about ME is even better. I feel like the subject of a long-term experiment. I like it. 

I kinda wore myself out with double my normal exercise today. I’m retreating to bed well before it is appropriate. I can’t wait to wake up and see my numbers from overnight. I also will be looking forward to clicking an entire day’s worth of walking. My step count for today is pathetic. 

I’m having a good time with Carly, and it’s helping to lift me out of the sadness I was feeling. She keeps reminding me, more and more, what a great girl can be like. She’s responsive, funny, understanding, sensual and interesting. I am greatly enjoying the time we are spending together. There’s not enough of it quite frankly. We both have busy lives and live in different counties. It’s going to be hard to make something work, but if we do fall for each other, it is something I believe we can do. I can imagine building something with her. It seems like it would be a journey through the fire, but the rewards could be beyond imagining. If she really is as honest and caring as she seems, I’m not letting her get away.

Much remains to be seen. This is only the start of the story.