Belief

Sometimes I am pretty down on the world, because a lot of bad shit has happened during my life. I’ve been traumatized, manipulated and humiliated. Better still, I’ve done far more damage to my own potential than any outsider could have. You think my confidence would be descimated, and for a while, I would have said that was true. 

Given all of that, what the fuck do you do to change it? Honestly? Nothing is going to make the past any less painful and horrific. If you keep looking back at it, it will stay on your mind. This is where I changed my thinking: I determined that it was best to invest in what is yet to come. That, at least, can be coerced favorably with effort. The past is still just as horrifying as it was the day before, with no hope of becoming anything different, ever. So instead of looking there, I looked out towards the horizon. What is waiting out there? 

I can make a better life for myself not shackled in the unrelenting pessimism of my history, but holding tight to rapidly accelerating optimism. Anything is possible. Don’t let someone else tell you how it’s going to be. Decide your fate! Now get up off the couch and win yourself some happiness. Albeit, getting healthy enough for happiness is part of the process. No matter how deep the hole you have to climb out of, it can be done. Perseverance will prevail. With each step you get closer, and the more days you step forward the easier it becomes the next day. 

I go out into the world ready to do my share and take home what I earned. I want this life I have, and I’m willing to bust my ass to maintain it. If I get depressed, I won’t let it permanently derail my upward trajectory. I am in this to change my life blog. I want to live, feel real happiness, be in love, start building a life that will last. All of this is possible because I am making it possible. 

I deserve to be all the way proud of who I am. Not just mentally. I can and will get to a place that suits me for who I truly am. 

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