Carly and I had a very frank and realistic discussion together today and we went over our current “relationship” and what it means for each of us. I was greatly reassured by this discussion and ever the more interested in getting close to Carly. She struck down some of my anxieties about how she felt, and gave our situation the perfect description: “more than friends.” That’s what it is really, and it’s very good to be more than friends with her.
My anxieties stem from paranoid suspicions and misinterpreted facts. The main concern was that I thought that even though she was busy, she still didn’t really want to talk to me. That was quickly dispatched with reassurances to the contrary. Her life has become temporarily busy with family and friends, and I understand that. She does want to talk, she just can’t as often.
I don’t really want to think about the future, as this tends to be the realm of anxiety. Instead, I want to think about now, and how rapidly I can get some Carly over here. I’m going to do everything I can to spend time with that girl blog. I will not let this situation fall apart because of a lack of effort on my part. I have an ultimatum: I must see Carly before end of day Sunday. The more time I spend with her, the better I feel. The deeper we talk, the more I grow to admire her. She is living as a proud, independent woman, and I fully support that! That’s something I can look up to; a person with goals and dreams and a will to get there. Why wouldn’t I want to spend my time around that?
I hope that by adding me to her life, I will help make it more possible for her goals to become a reality (either directly or indirectly). That is my ultimate hope. I want her to stay a vibrant and independent woman, but also choose to have me around too. If things coalesce, then I will be happy. So that is what I am going to keep in my mind, and work towards with my actions.