# 1,281

This blog has helped me through some seriously tough times, and has seen me quite happy as well. All those ups and downs have taken a toll on me, and it also has me thinking about stability. I’m here with you tonight neither up nor down. I feel like I’m missing something. It’s hard to explain. My thoughts are not together right now. Those last few sentences are a microcosm of my current state. 

As you know, I have added exercise to my life, and this has thrown me into a bit of turmoil. I have good weeks, and down weeks. Some days I feel revitalized, others, like I just crawled out of a public toilet. I eat good food for the most part, and I just can’t get balanced. I want to push forward my goal of going back to my education, but I doubt I could handle it if I had to do it now. If I can’t be balanced with one new thing added, how can I handle two? 

I’m going to plow ahead until I do find balance with exercise in my life. This is my current goal. Eventually I will be ready to add more. I’m in a transitional time where I am still figuring out who I want to be. 

I’m both confident in myself but scared because there is so much that remains unclear. I’ve never done this before. I’m afraid I might fail again.