Resolution

This weekend you have seen me through trials and self-imposed tests, and I am pleased to relay that I am more resolved than ever. I passed through the gauntlet to resist my primal urges and I feel now as though I have fundamentally succeeded. I am now beyond the point of feeling the compulsion to smoke weed and on to a state where it is not present in my mind.

I have thoroughly preoccupied myself today and I am very pleased with the end result. I feel fine, calm, peaceful and ready to call it a day and go at my work week bright and early tomorrow.

For a while there I honestly anticipated having to make excuses for why I caved in, why I justified smoking as some sort of necessary measure. Thinking about having to mask my shame in false logic was sickening. I am a better person than that. I am past the withdrawal stage and now I am beginning to see things clearly. I have become resolved in my path, and I feel great about it as I head into the evening.

You have been here through my struggles and reconsiderations. You never once judged me and criticized me for my predicament. I expressed, and you patiently observed. This is the sort of relationship I can benefit from. Blog, you have been great, and all the readers out there with their sympathy has not gone unnoticed.

I have moved beyond the painful need and on to the time after: still, calm and considered. I go forward holding true to my goal of not indulging, and perpetuating healthy behavior into the future. One day I will come back to it, once my willpower is strong enough to hold to a schedule and not deviate from it. I have some time before that day, and I intend to go on strengthening myself against temptation and admiring the accomplishments I have already achieved.

This is the last post of my weekend of withdrawal, and I am glad the hours of daylight are running out. I long for peaceful sleep and a new day tomorrow.

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