So I felt like things were getting really bad with my mood and I was rapidly descending into a negative place. There was one thing I could do to lift myself out of it if I was right about the withdrawal. I am pleased to say I was right. I smoked a small nug as a medical measure to get THC back into my system and end my rage spiral. It’s not proving anything to myself to not smoke when I clearly needed to just because I wanted to quit for a month. This was a medical measure strictly, and not a pattern. I’m still content waiting to re-join regularity until my target date, but right now, tonight,m I needed to so things wouldn’t get out of control.

I mean, I imagine having self control is pretty much like this. It’s back in my drawer where it belongs and I’m back on the couch relaxing. If emergencies come up and my mood is in a really bad place, then I condone it’s use just like any other PRN. Used when needed, not abused. Tonight is a great example of my self-control. I’m going to enjoy my game with friends now thanks to a quick toke. I don’t feel angry or frustrated. I feel content. Most importantly, I feel in charge.

So I’m going to get ready for game. Have a good night blog.