It’s hard to maintain healthy communication skills when you live with people who refuse to practice them. My parents are frustratingly ingrained in their resentment and biases, which makes bridging their disconnects with good communication skills totally impossible. They refuse to shed the cognitive distortions that haunt nearly all of their interactions: My dad the mind reading projector and my mom the all-or-nothing emotional free radical. Together, they hardly communicate about anything that isn’t inherently positive or reflective. Conflicts just keep getting brushed under the rug in their partially dissimilated states; abandoned to frustration and time.
I do hope that as I expand professionally, I can build up more of a tolerance to being consistently rebuffed in my attempts to establish good communications between my parents (or clients) and still help them improve their ragged partnership. In such a dynamic, the more clear and concise the better, but in my reality, speculation and projection run amok like easy candy out of a cheap vending machine. No one views my way as a superior way to communicate, or are otherwise unmotivated to change for the (what I believe to be the) better. This is frustrating for me, naturally. The people I love the most are the ones I am least able to help.
So, I have to endure a dysfunctional environment with no real hope of improvement for as long as I am living here. In truth, I had suspected that I would not be with them in the same house until the end of their lives, because eventually, I would need a healthier environment to thrive in as the person I intend to be. That man, Westin we will call him, is intending to be a ripple of good in the still, murky pond of life. I know I can impact people’s lives and show them a way towards finding a kind of happiness that makes sense for who they are.
In the meantime, I at least have my own room and place to retreat to in the event I do not want to be a part of the ongoing discourse. Things are moving forward in my path towards re-establishment into relevance… this is more of a personal relevance if anything. I need to achieve, to try for something of worth, and succeed so that the roots of my pride and personality are nourished. It’s a good recipe for avoiding deep depressive cycles, I have found.
Have a good day.