I found these pictures today of Em and I back when we dated. On the occasion that my life in Sacramento imploded about 6 years ago, we ventured south and I lost all contact with her. My sentimentality and generousness for forgiveness lends me to want to build bridges rather than seek to burn them down (if they happened to still exist).

I would like to find her again, and see how the road has been treating her. I certainly have meteored-out at least once between then and now. Seeing her face reminds me of how passionately I loved her, and I can still feel the ache in the place that is now empty because she has gone. There will never be anyone else like her, and no one that could replace what she brought to my life, for a time. I learned many things because of Em, and seeing her bright face only reminds me further of the memories we made together. Those years were some of the happiest times in all my life; when I lived in that granny flat in Fair Oaks with Em. We had two wild chickens whose names I still remember: Jack (black) and Houdini (brown) that hung around the house. That summer when we first moved in and the hot water wasn’t working… We took baths in the tub out on the lawn and had sex under the stars at night. Passionate moments both good and bad were all a part of my span with her. Many beautiful memories though, a lot like this picture of the two of us. I will never forget those moments and all of the things I have gained having lived through them.

What an odd thing to find at random in a notebook, just a few weeks into my return to Northern California. To Em: wherever you are, peace be with you.

Back when we were together