Promotatives

(Much harder given the climate, but I need to do this to help myself right now)

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Friendly

Outgoing

Ambitious

Humorous

Creative

Original

Insightful

Wise

Intelligent

Sincere

Logical

Attentive

Generous

Communicative

Sexual

Emotional

Courageous

Observant

Honest

Gentile

Affectionate

Dedicated

Loyal

Determined

Optimistic

Jubilant

Effusive

Kind

Moral

Sad Bed

Hours in isolation reveal a place of deep ache, encompassing a gorge of emptiness within. I feel the threads of connection, thin, decayed, neglected, forgotten, but still tugging from time to time.

I wish someone was here with me. I miss having her here to be affectionate with, gliding fingers and soft kisses. That word, someone, represents such a powerful longing that I often have to stuff it away. I can’t deal with the hurt in its completeness.

I’m hopeless. I just need to come out here and express my unrequited longing. I don’t think anyone will love me again. Too much baggage. Not worth the trouble. Unable to see who I am.

I have times like this where I feel sad about being alone; especially in instances when old love emotions are brought up and the memory/reality of how it is dead comes back. The pain returns. I forgive. I transition. I stand alone. My hand is cold.

Tonight I just wish someone was making sniffy noises next to me. I miss her. Goodnight.

Activation

Score: +3

Hello Blog.

Today I started to embrace my future as an activist for my community outreach program. I, as you know, have submitted a proposal to NAMI Sacramento called Stronger Communities through Awareness, Leadership and Education (SCALE). I am beginning to dip my toes into collecting data to bolster the facts to emphasize the need behind my proposal. This is forward progress.

I’m looking forward to getting into my own living arrangement. My roommates have no respect for me whatsoever, and ignore my preferences, requests and pleas. They don’t care how imposing and irritating it is to have your boundaries crossed. My identity has no room to grow here. I eagerly await the day where I can define my own personal space.

I am ceasing my concern with changing the culture, instead, I will protect myself and forward my goal of moving out. I am launched, and destined to have an impact somewhere. Time will reveal the focus of my energy, and advance a blossoming future.

These are statements. I express. I process. The words go here, and here they stay.

The Hunter-Seeker is still after me. It almost got me, but I have, this far, been able to escape death. Soon.