A Curse Upon Fishes!

I googled “A curse for fishes,” and surprisingly, there is nothing of substance. What… there isn’t 1 fucking witch or shaman who fishes? If I had magical powers, I’d be helping my fellow anglers! Priority numero uno.

So please, internet, if you know of a curse, or have a list of reagents for said curse, send me an email.

You might be wondering why I have “stooped” to invoking the dark powers in order to catch a fish. I view magic as a grey area as far as it applies to being a fishing technique. It’s pretty much still a skill thing, so it’s kinda okay. You can’t be just some Schmendrick and have a go at the fish curse. It takes talent, mastery and alertness to be a successful angler, and some sort of discipline to wield the dark powers as well (I imagine).


I am being incessantly berated about not using live bait or the infamous “cheese ball” to procure a fish faster I have also been told by anglers in the area using, and seen the effectiveness of, live bait. I’m telling you blog, just one time, right here right now. There is only one true angling law:

Saltwater = anything goes because fish is meat


Any Mooper can get on a boat, go out to the islands with a bucket of anchovies and catch dinner. A TRUE GOD LOVING JESUS GUY angler only needs his wits, arms, ears and eyes. It’s my job to deceive the fish, not tempt it beyond resistance with something it normally eats anyway or is too hopelessly tempted by to be irresistible. Boo. No blog, the SPORT is the act of trickery, so you can see how there is little or no skill involved in cheese ball.


I’m always making things harder then they have to be… but GOD DAMN does it feel good to earn that fight once you trick some poor fish into thinking that little scrap of plastic was edible. Muahaha.

So today I’m going back out with my last ditch technique for catching a Bass. When I come back, I’ll be expecting one of the 800+ of you could come up with some fucking spell or seance I can do to improve my odds. I’m willing to harvest odd ingredients for a curse if need be. Anyway, here goes nothing!