#1,404

Howdy there Blog. Today I’m manning the warmline for NAMI Sacramento, and Monday (my regular day) as well. This picture represents the seed of my meager beginnings. I have no desk, only a bed, binder and photocopied organization, group and education programs to guide me to success. I also have my PSS skills which have come in handy on a few of the calls I’ve already handled. I feel proud of the job I did preparing resources for days like today, and I have been fantastic in my encounters with people in need so far.

Don’t mock my chicken scratch. Handwriting = useless method of communication.

The title of this post helps to summarize my resolution, because: it’s just another post. One of thousands. It is a habit I engage in daily, and there is no deviation from that pattern, ongoing since 2012. Really, #1,404 grounds me, because isn’t it also true that life is divided up into tiny moments where we either succeed or fail? Some of my posts from the past are just fucking flat-out bat-shit nuts. Others, sound, reasonable and founded in logic. But they by themselves do not define the whole, they simply become part of a massive accumulation and the individuality of their sharpness is resolved by an overwhelming quantity of others that do not reflect the same acute nature. So even though things get momentarily perturbed at times, we still sail on, driving the ship ever towards the unknown horizon. Sometimes there is a storm that tosses us around, and sometimes the wind is with us and we break the swell hard and fast, driving that hull flush towards the setting sun, the spray of the sea clinging to my face.

Today has been about me sinking my feet into the dirt and staring hard at what lies ahead. The future may be divided into agonizing little increments, but they are just more days, more numbers more tally marks towards the moment when I will become who I desire to be. Though, the control of my destiny is still not yet mine to take, I do feel the anxiety/excitement of the impending moment when I have both hands on the wheel again, and we are ready for sail on all-ahead flank!

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