Now that things are finally starting to fall into a pattern, I am feeling a sense of relief and peace. My schedule has been accelerated since starting full time for NAMI last month, but the rewards of occupation are numerous. I find myself feeling more active and I have lost 13 pounds without the aid of excessive exercise. I find my mental acuity to be improved since smoking was not a part of my every two hour routine. I get a lot of shit done these days, and wondering about the ways I can take on more things.
Not overburdening myself though, mind you. I have a limit and it is not yet reached.
Personally, things have been better. My new pattern is becoming very familiar, and so to are the benefits of mutuality. I have taken the step of reaching back out to my ex to be a friend to her. I felt terrible about her status of not having anyone to talk to or relate with about the struggles she faces. Still, I am hoping this proves to benefit our dynamic and not present further things to fall apart over. I know full well the help I can provide and the limits of that assistance. Being isolated and unrelated to is awful and I never want her to feel that.
My future is looking increasingly like a real person’s life. Aspirations of independence, fiscal stability and a ceiling of upward expansion that has yet to be fully reached. I know my life is changing, and so much of it is for the better. There are still some things which will take time to resolve or become clear how things are to be delegated, divided or otherwise dealt with. Still figuring out a way forward that works best for everyone is not entirely clear.