Puppets

This page refers to the various personas who barge in and take control away from Westin Eric Bailey. Momentarily, some other person is in charge, and with the unfathomable power of control, they see fit dealing death and justice on their random, often ridiculous whims.

Ranked in order of dominance, tenure, relevance.

MITH (Moo in the Head) also known as “The Voice.”

As if a reference to the overwhelming power of Herbert’s Voice in Dune, the voice is a miraculous discerner of the words that were just spoken by actual Moo. Usually this sort of parroting is a translation of actual intention, or, an attempt to cut the fluff and bullshit off a Moo statement, reducing it to the bone and marrow of intent. The Voice might be the best known puppet, as people outside the family unit know what it is, and what power it wields.

KITH (Kittle in the Head)

Since the arrival of the cat, and its bond to Moo, it also has required someone to interpret what it wants, or what the cat happens to be thinking moment to moment. Usually Kittle in the Head is pretty bent on getting more food, and running from the Boy since he is horrible and he smells bad. Hate him.

Cleetus (see: “The Slack-Jawed Yokel”)

Cleetus is a redneck, uneducated societal moron from “Tucky”or “Bama,” he’s never sure. He represents the core carnal impulses of the fool bludgeoning his way to the bar for his next drink, or to the polling booth to vote for Trump. He will be triggered anytime anyone, anywhere says “I tell you what!” with any sort of enthusiasm.

Mr. Penis

My penis has its own puppet. It’s a quiet voice, with the twinges of a mexican accent in there somehow… not sure what that is exactly. Haven’t seen this fellow in a while, as his relevance and priorities have diminished over the years. However, he can make quite insightful comments on certain topics, if a space of silence prompt him to inject himself into relevance (something he’s particularly good at).

Daddo

This puppet is pretty underdeveloped, but comes of more or less oaf-like and clearly idiotic to an inconvenient degree. Typically when Daddo fucks up, falls down or otherwise creates something that can be exploited for it’s humorous value, count on this puppet having something to say. A lot of this voice is sound effects, as falling is a big opportunity for additional humiliation.

Chicken

Chicken is a chicken. It clucks. It clucks to all sorts of things. Songs. the TV. You. Your face. Whatever.