Eve

It’s football eve, and I’m doing fine. I spent some time throwing the Frisbee with Tristan today in Santee. It was refreshing the three of us being there together having fun. He was happy to see me. All in all, very positive. I even invited them over to my house tomorrow during the games. I know that time with him is limited now that Amanda only has occasional custody. We are going to play chess and have fun. Good times will be had.

It’s another night alone here in the apartment and I seem to be doing fine. I had a good session with Margaret today. We talked for more than a therapeutic hour and delved into my solitude issues. I was telling her how hyper-vigilant I am against feeling sad or overly bored. I continue to find ways to distract myself and keep my mind occupied to avoid this, but she suggested that I actually, deliberately concentrate on happy things. She wants me to think about the progress I have made to get here, and the long relationship I have with Amanda, and how I have a steady job and have been stable on my meds for an extended period of time. It’s literally occupying the mind with something good instead of letting it drift to think about something bad by default. I have to force these thoughts into my head to crush the others that come in. It was an innovation I had not come up with on my own. So I’m going to give it a try next time I get to feeling solitary or sad. I think it will totally work.

Well blog, things are going pretty good. It’s a mildly important week in FFL, a week that I am pretty 50 – 50 about. I really am leaning on having some below average performances since the match ups aren’t pointed my way this week. Only a couple have a solid forecast of going off, so who knows. I’m looking for Tyerell Williams, C.J. Fedorowicz and Steffon Diggs to have big days despite being an outside shot to do much in the way of scoring. I expect Gordon to be worth something, and Le’Veon Bell has a tough match up this week. He could easily be stymied all day and I wouldn’t be shocked. I’m hoping a couple of my fliers go off and save the below average output of my powerhouse players. I decided to go 2 QBs in my work league… since it seems everyone else was. So I’m starting Newton and Prescott, who I intent to generate some rushing yardage as well as having stellar days through the air. Both have a sot at a rushing TD as well which would greatly help my cause. My roster in the work league is better then the one I have in the family league. But I’m 6-3 in both leagues right now, but like I said, I could very easily 6-4 in both leagues by this time tomorrow. I’d say 60%/40% I lose both games.

So I don’t have much hope. It would really put the dagger in my cousin if I win and I’m not particularly interested in being the one to do it. I like a competitive race and in her division, she would have a difficult time staying relevant if she loses, with only 4 games left to play. I could afford a loss, but she probably can’t She’d have to win out to stay relevant and even then, 7-6 is no certainty of a playoff berth with a team 2 games up on her in 2nd. So in reality, I’d like it to be competitive to show me if my guesses were correct about certain players, but do I mind losing? Not at all. We’ll just have to see how it goes. Expectations at a record low.

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Things

Score: +3

9.5 hours is best spent busy, so that minutes do not agonize forward at an insufficient speed. I’m much better off that way. Boredom is frustrating. 

I think things are going well. I have no complaints about the way my life is going. My energy has been ok. I avoid smoking after 4:00 pm or so on weekdays. I’ve found that it’s significantly harder to get up and go the next morning. I need allies during those first few moments of awareness, not enemies. If I get to sleep in I say fuck it and smoke till I pass out. This is a gross exaggeration of the facts. 

I’ve gotten back into Edain now that a couple new factions have been patched (Dwarves and Lothlorien). I really like the elves. Getting to silverthorn arrows quickly is key to victory. They have no cavalry, which I am pleased with, and three different types of archer. The top tier one is gross. They knockback cavalry before they can be trampled. It’s fun to watch. Dwarves I’m still figuring out. I don’t like MMing battlewagons. It’s irritating.

I worked my way through the entire 1 v 1 map list with the AI set on hard, and I’m starting from the top with it set for brutal. I have won five games, but I’m stuck on Brandywine. Brutal gets after you pretty fast. They just dial up the flow and hope they can smother you in bottom tier units. I’ve found victory in holing off my destruction long enough to get elite units out in devastating quantities. I won most with Gondor/Arnor. 

I have been trying to keep myself entertained so that I don’t slide. I’m afraid of my mood dipping because of my circumstances and depreciating energy levels. I’m doing the best I can to stay proactive. Games help. They allow me to develop a plan and fund its creation. RTS is truly my genre for this reason. And to have one so deeply entrenched in a fantasy universe that I adore? Perfection. And the game is only getting better as time goes on, with Angmar waiting in the wings to be released soon. 

Will is just now getting back into WoW. I’m kinda over it for the time being. I did a lot of work in that game. I leveled my professions to max, and then dropped one, and leveled the new one to max. I’m not in to never ending RPG right now. Not the right kind of thinking involved. I need something more encompassing and grandiose. 

Well, anyway. I have to work tomorrow. But I get the rest of the month off. I get an extra hour of sleep. At least. 

#1001

Score: +3

I’d say that’s a good score for a busy Monday. I handled my work today, dealing with some big issues that floated my way. This has become a big part of what I do now, I talk with my manager and resolve upper-level requests. I think my coworkers just assume I do nothing all day, because I don’t take many incoming calls when the tickets flood in. Then again, I don’t give two cooked shits what they think. 

The boy was out of control this weekend. He was grumpy that we had to leave the Reuben H. Fleet Science Center once we had done every activity on both floors. He pouted that he didn’t get a toy, which we was denied because he refused to take direction on multiple occasions. Amanda and I gave up on walking with him because all he could do was brood and stomp. We put him in the stroller and went over to the San Diego gem and mineral society. They had some outstanding samples there, including a huge blue Topaz. 

The boy went to his dad’s today, and we have heard that he got in trouble at school for talking during class. His dad is very machismo, which is funny considering he’s a pasty emotionless goth. But his dad spanks him, and doesn’t positively reinforce good behavior, just administers punishment. I think that will build resentment over time. 

Today marked the conclusion of week one in the National Football League. Both my fantasy teams won, which is a treat considering week one is quite possibly the hardest of the 17. Why? No trends, no data, just guessing. I guessed good. 

Time is zooming by. Tomorrow marks the 9th month of being in a relationship with Amanda. Has it really been 9 months? Things still feel very new. Maybe because we are still learning about each other. This relationship is a promising partnership. We have been growing together, and enjoying some fantastic memories. I feel like there are many more things we have yet to do with each other. 

Overall, this was a good Monday. It could have been much worse. 

Welcome Back, Slappy

Score: +2.5

Some kinda day I had. All the turmoil seemed to have accumulated over the long weekend, making today an arduous nightmare. There was a crisis at work, which was not of my doing, but involved me on multiple levels of scrutiny and with much questioning from my superiors. It was acutely stressful, to the point of inflicting me with a severe headache by the end of the day. I pushed through the obstacles as they became apparent, but the work I had to do today was impossible to resolve by myself. I got no help from my colleagues, and never got caught up. I must have done 20 or more tickets, and there were 20 more left to do. Sigh. I don’t like having lots of loose ends.

So stressful… yes. But now I’m home and relaxing. We have the boy, and he’s been getting into trouble lately. His dad wants to discipline him with spanking, but we don’t do that when we have him. I don’t think violence teaches anything but fear. His dad insists on coming over to spank him if we won’t do it. I think that’s weird. But it’s his kid, and if he wants to lay the groundwork for resentment that’s up to him. 

Mentally I’m doing ok. I had my opportunity to relax over the weekend. I feel recharged, even if today was just crazy. I survived, and I feel like I was able to let go of my stress. I didn’t bring anything home with me. 

It’s going to get hot again here in the desert southwest this week. It’s 94 in the apartment at 7:00 pm. Bummer. 

In other news, Amanda and I are continuing to play Minecraft, and I am having fun with it. The current objective is to find pockets of rare ore for the building of advanced objects. I have a mine that goes all the way down to bedrock, and I’m sniffing around down there for Redstone, Gold and Diamond. I have found a ton of Redstone but very little of the other two. I have also collected some Obsidian, which I made by dumping a bucket of water onto some lava. It can be mined without incident as long as there is fresh water flowing over it. However, I learned this the hard way by falling into said lava for my first death on our server. I had lots of good shit in my inventory, and it all burned up. 23 levels, gone. But it’s to be expected. 

Tristan us curious about what we are doing, because he plays in “creative” mode, which disables monsters, day/night, health and gives you everything you could want in the game right from the start. He gets frustrated in “survival” mode because he’s used to being invincible and not having to deal with mobs. He was watching us wanting to play on our server, until we told him that he would be mortal. 

I’m attempting to relax here in bed while the temperature is peaking. It’s going to be beat 100 tomorrow. 

Goodnight. I feel quite tranquil, and ready for another day tomorrow. 

Escape From Certain Doom

Scire: +3.5

The final chapter of our glorious three day respite was one to be remembered. We had to go get food and household essentials at some point, but morning was difficult to escape from. I got the Geodon drowsies after I ate some eggs 1.5 hours after taking my meds, and Amanda said she wasn’t ready to get up after she emerged from sleep. So we were both up for a bit, but then right back to bed. Just to give you an idea, I got a large black coffee with THREE shots of espresso in it, and when the med-induced fog hit me, I went straight to sleep no more than an hour after my last sip. No caffeine buzz can defeat this enemy. The only thing I have seen that works is marijuana, but morning is not a good time to do that (unless you have your mind set on doing nothing all day and going to bed early). 

So we accomplished our all important shopping trip by 11 or so and had the rest of the day to have fun. Amanda has recently exposed me to a new game (to me) called Minecraft. In it, you are able to build or destroy any part of the world, which is infinite in all directions. You can build a castle, and plunder the secrets of the earth underfoot at one’s discretion. Amanda is more a builder, where I am a digger. I launched a private server and we got to work, from scratch, building a house and exploring the deeps. As good fortune would have it, there was already an extensive network of caves under the place we chose to build a house. In it, we found riches beyond reckoning. However, we delved deeper and deeper, and eventually we were trapped in the darkest of caverns attempting to follow our torches back to safety (which was the fail safe plan). But there was no road that led out. Everywhere was a dead-end. I couldn’t figure out how we got down there with no way out… I was baffled. And a sense of urgency began to set in, as in Minecraft your avatar will starve to death if you don’t eat food regularly. And I was reaching that point. Why is this bad? Because all the great shit I had found down in the cave would be trapped right where I died, never to be seen again. In death, all possessions and experience are lost. It’s like starting over. I could not let that be our fate. So we dug up, and up, and eventually came back out of the cave into a field. I wandered up to a high point and scoured the horizon for our house. Just as I was sure we were too far from it to get back in time, I saw it. Our precious safety structure guiding us back to home. It was an awesome, terrifying adventure. 

It’s back to work tomorrow, and I think it will be just fine. Only a four day week. 

Pile-Diggers

Score: +4

Amanda and I made the trek up to the Oceanview Mine here in San Diego county and boy was it worth it. The mine features Tourmaline primarily, with some Beryl (Aquamarine and Morganite), Kunzite and Quartz. The deal is: you pay an entry fee and they provide you with a workstation which is composed of two sifting screens and a water trough. You are then to gather your dirt from a massive pile of mining tailings in the center with all the workstations positioned around it. You bring the dirt back to your station and pour it through the strainers, first catching the larger rocks, cleaning them, and inspecting them, and then moving on to the second screen, with all the little pieces.

It’s a labor-intensive process, and it takes many buckets before anything is found. But find we did! First, Amanda pulled this Quartz crystal right off the big screen. She was one of the only ones to find an intact crystal.


While you are digging, it’s hard to tell what you got. I picked up this sample, but it wasn’t until I got home that I was able to identify it as a rare clear Toutmaline called Achrodite.


Towards the end of the dig, I found an Aquamarine in my small strainer… I was jazzed, because the guy next to me had done twice as many buckets and he hadn’t found shit.


Amanda and I both picked a sample of Morganite, hers the larger one.


So we made off with some precious gems to put in the tumblers. We were pretty tired after a while, and didn’t stay the whole time. But we got our fair share of loot. It was a very successful and fun trip. I am glad we did it.

However, my body is very sore and tomorrow might be tough. Price paid for fun.

Ultimate Apocalypse – The Hunt Begins

The February news is out, and the word is encouraging. It looks like they are trying to have it ready before the end of the month, which would be sick. We are hoping to receive a fully polished skirmish mode, with an advanced AI capable of multiple strategies and build orders. And not to mention all the new shiny content they are giving us. I’m really excited. The Hunt Begins has been in development for a long time, and has now arrived at the end of the road. Soon we will all have command of the deadly Chaos Daemons and the mighty Inquisition Daemonhunters, and my favorite factions will all have been reworked and had new units added to them. Right on. They have no changelog yet, but I imagine it would be immense when compared to the last release.

I have been waiting patiently for one of my three mods to emerge, and so far, UA is taking the reigns. Edain has a public release planned for the the first quarter 2015, but there’s still a month and a half of that left. The Improvement Mod is currently broken as the modder scrambles to get the wild animals bug fixed. Right now, shrines don’t attract herds, which basically makes the Japanese useless. But I haven’t felt like I wanted to play AOE 3 lately. I’ve been thinking THB would be my first chance to try out a new mod, and now that looks to be the case. The mod team has said there will be some waiting to do yet, but SOON.