Ownerless Album

I was feeling very confident in my affection for my girlfriend earlier today, until she made it clear we were not on the same page and became my ex. I worked for a bit on compiling this sequence of songs to (ironically) brush over the feelings of despair associated with losing love, only to find it again later in the playlist.

Mournful, yes, was the appropriate tone-setter but not the end of the story. I still feel hopeful for my cause; my desire to be loved and to give love fully. My life is still moving forward. Sharing that with “A” was what I wanted to do, but I never really believed it or committed myself fully. I discussed the possibility of going my separate way many times in therapy but now to have it play out in reality is a whole different experience. I do miss what we had while it was good, and wonder about how it went astray.

I tried to be honest with my feeling in this playlist and effusive/voluminous would be good ways to describe my enduring affection. Breaks don’t just end feelings… they hang on in a painful remembrance which makes the acuteness of my album’s emotional story ring all the more true now that I sit here listening to it again. It aches where she is missing, but I know that won’t last forever.

I have no bridges to cross out of independence to companionship… and maybe it will be that way for a while.

 

 

 

Beer Bottles & Huggy Times

Length: 74 minutes

  1. Play The Game – Queen
  2. If I Can’t Have You – Yvonne Elliman
  3. Just Like Heaven – The Cure
  4. Laid So Low (Tears Roll Down) – Tears For Fears
  5. Just A Song Before I Go – Crosby, Stills & Nash
  6. Spiderwebs – No Doubt
  7. Radio/Video – System Of A Down
  8. Drunk Sincerity – Bad Religion
  9. Beds Are Burning – Midnight Oil
  10. Let’s Go – The Cars
  11. Diamond Girl – Seals & Crofts
  12. Saturday In The Park – Chicago
  13. Don’t Get Me Wrong – The Pretenders
  14. Escapade – Janet Jackson
  15. Just One Look – Linda Ronstadt
  16. Baby I’m-A Want You – Bread
  17. Biggest Part Of Me – Ambrosia
  18. I Want You So Bad – Heart
  19. The One – Elton John

Mood Album: The Ballad Of Pocket-Friend

In an attempt to grapple with my state of emotional volatility, I have again turned to the medium of music as a coping tool. The process of creating these mixed albums helps me express, but also reflect. This composition I have arranged speaks in two voices: one that yearns in an abstract/theoretical sense, and the other that reminds of the parameters by which reality is confined (often toned by fact or obstacle). I have a great well of feeling, and this album helps me quantify and understand my own emotional arc. There is no conclusion to be drawn in such an unexplored circumstance, but as long as I have the ability to express, I believe this exercise will help me cope effectively.

One of the things I noticed here was I found a lot of common ground with some of the artists I used on my Graceful Sniffer album (Since the subject matter is largely the same). Different songs yes, but same melodic motifs and emphasis.

So far though, things are pretty positive, as this album undoubtedly conveys. I’ve listened to it and I’m pleased with the sort of journey of sensation it took me on… I was singing at some points and wiggling around like a sun-baked worm in others (in a good way). It’s an accurate emotional progression and summary of the place have been recently, am at now and will hopefully be going. Weee! Enjoy if you do compile it yourself:

Album: The Ballad of Pocket-Friend
Length: 74 minutes

  1. My Best Friend’s Girl – The Cars
  2. The Boys Of Summer – Don Henley
  3. American Girl – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
  4. Whenever I Call You “Friend” – Kenny Loggins & Stevie Nicks
  5. Why – Robert Plant
  6. Biggest Part Of Me – Ambrosia
  7. Sledgehammer – Peter Gabriel
  8. Somebody To Love – Queen
  9. Constant Craving – k.d. lang
  10. Secret Separation – The Fixx
  11. Reminiscing – Little River band
  12. Let’s Groove – Earth, Wind & Fire
  13. Your Wildest Dreams – The Moody Blues
  14. Wrapped Around Your Finger – The Police
  15. Hysteria – Def Leppard
  16. Cloud 9 – George Harrison

The Death Of Night Guy & Other Changes (Mood Album)

Admittedly, Night Guy was a response to a changing circumstance and search for companionship outside of the traditional paradigm. While he was a fun and exciting fellow, he was not sustainable. I have sen now that some contortion is good, but too much compromises integrity.

This album centers its themes on the insanity, bizarre and inexplicably unique way I manifest my persona in this otherwise tranquil world. The motifs include hasty sex, strange comparisons, odd quirks, depression, fanaticism and balance (eventually).

I feel like this very-closely parallels my current mood and temperament. Have at with the exposition!

Mood Album: Spunk-Rocket Poof Station
Length: 75 minutes

  1. Gemini Dream – The Moody Blues
  2. Paparazzi – Lady Gaga
  3. Wild Sex (In The Working Class)
  4. Something About You – Boston
  5. Beds Are Burning – Midnight Oil
  6. Whiskey In The Jar – Metallica
  7. Spiderwebs – No Doubt
  8. Listen Like Thieves – INXS
  9. Cold As Ice – Foreigner
  10. Living Dead Girl – Rob Zombie
  11. Asleep The Snow Came Flying – Tim Story
  12. Broken Wings – Mr. Mister
  13. Turn To Stone – Electric Light Orchestra
  14. Harden My Heart – Quatrerflash
  15. Praying For Time – George Michael
  16. In Between Days – The Cure
  17. South City Midnight Lady – The Doobie Brothers
  18. Back On The Chain Gang – The Pretenders

 

Night Guy Does A Mood Album

Hey Blog, Night Guy here.

This other guy is a kook pretty much now that I’m going over all these notes and things left behind. Anyway, this music medium is how the previous administration tried to convey or interpret a state of being or emotional narrative for processing and comprehension. I’m not as much in to all the fluffy shit that goes along with this activity, but I guess I can scrutinize what has already been made available for me to cast judgement upon. See this album as a prognosis for the former occupant, and an indicator of the turbulent future he carved out for himself. This album is, basically, how it is; sad, stark and laid out there for all to see. Please don’t send me mail about the deeds of the prior administration, it will all get forwarded to the daytime guy.. or whoever he was. He may have fled the country.

**UPDATED**

So after listing to it a couple of times, it just wasn’t Night Guyish enough. I spruced this bad boy up with some silly putty and electric shocks. Enjoy!

Mood Album: Emo-Slave Resurrection v. 2 (Night Guy Edition)

Length: 77 Minutes

  1. For Your Love – Fleetwood Mac
  2. More Than A Woman – Bee Gees
  3. Chains Of Love – Erasure
  4. Ventura Highway – America
  5. Rikki Don’t Lose That Number – Steely Dan
  6. The Other Side Of Life – The Moody Blues
  7. Don’t You Know What The Night Can Do? – Steve Winwood
  8. Feels So Good – Chuck Mangione
  9. The Night Owls – Little River Band
  10. You Don’t Have To Cry – Crosby, Stills & Nash
  11. Owner Of A Lonely Heart – Yes
  12. The Heart Of The Matter – Don Henley
  13. Cowboys & Angels – George Michael
  14. Nothingman – Pearl Jam
  15. Because The Night – 10,000 Maniacs
  16. Conviction Of The Heart – Kenny Loggins

Mood Album v. 3

In light of recent turbulence in my world, I’ve tried keeping a better feel on the introspective pulse of regular function. I’m also aware that I’m subjecting myself to an unusually high level of stress and stimuli in an effort to combat creeping depression. I see all the elements like a confluence of rivers forming a mighty torrent… somehow sweeping my brain away downstream or buried in silt. Nevertheless, I still pry open the inner vault of the self and try to understand things happening to and from it. I feel I’m better at some things I used to be terrible at, but still lacking in quite a few areas. What are my true motivations for my actions? Why do I open myself to every nice person that walks by? Why am I such an insatiable prick? What does being understood feel like?

I sit here in my snowman jammies and wonder if expression really helps, or if it just provides a forum for things to garner attention for a time? I think the more ways I can ventilate this shit-smelling barn the better. Activities like the Mood Albums I do are helpful because they give me the chance to craft a narrative in a medium not often used. I don’t think myself anything other than expressive, curious and expositional about my own feelings and path forward. So as of the last album when I was feeling a fair bit gooier than I am now, I needed to revisit my good friend pain, loneliness and rekindle an ongoing desire to see things change.

Tracks from the previous Mood Album: Spatulas & Bandaids are highlighted in yellow. I have pulled from other wishy-washy type albums as well that have been generated in the past. I didn’t go “all in” on the squish, mind you, but it’s there. As you can see, there has been some pretty severe turnover in the track-list. I have listed the previous two iterations below so the whole three-album progression can be seen clear.

Mood Album (v. 3): Splattercake Conjunctivitis

Length: 74 minutes

  1. Mad World – Tears for Fears
  2. If This Is It – Huey Lewis & The News
  3. Walking On Broken Glass – Annie Lennox
  4. Don’t Do Me Like That – Tom Petty & The Heartbrakers
  5. Pamela – Toto
  6. Walk Away – Joe Walsh
  7. I Wouldn’t Want To Be Like You – The Alan Parsons Project
  8. The Voice – The Moody Blues
  9. Move On – George Michael
  10. Back In Black – AC/DC
  11. Falling Away From Me – Korn
  12. (SIC) – Slipknot
  13. Waves – Blondfire
  14. Straight To My Heart – Sting
  15. All Over You – Live
  16. Let’s Go
  17. Don’t Get Me Wrong – The Pretenders
  18. More Than Words – Extreme

Mood Album (v. 2): Spatulas & Bandaids

Length: 73 minutes

  1. Mad World – Tears For Fears
  2. Once – Pearl Jam
  3. Animal – Def Leppard
  4. All Over You – Live
  5. In Thee – Blue Öyster Cult
  6. No One Like You – Scorpions
  7. Mr. Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra
  8. The Voice – The Moody Blues
  9. One Thing Leads To Another – The Fixx
  10. Heartbeat CIty – The Cars
  11. Fragile – Sting
  12. Help Is On Its Way – Little River Band
  13. Don’t Get Me Wrong – The Pretenders
  14. The Promise – When In Rome
  15. Best Of My Love – Eagles
  16. Baby, Come To Me – Patti Austin & James Ingram
  17. King Of Pain – The Police
  18. Move On – George Michael

Mood Album (v. 1): Deflatacated Marshmallow

Length: 77 Minutes

  1. Fastlove – Gerorge Michael
  2. Beds Are Burning – Midnight Oil
  3. Mr. Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra
  4. Once – Pearl Jam
  5. Animal – Def Leppard
  6. All Over You – Live
  7. Heartbeat City – The Cars
  8. Broken Wings – Mr. Mister
  9. Fragile – Sting
  10. Don’t Get Me Wrong – The Pretenders
  11. The Promise – When In Rome
  12. Because The Night – 10,000 Maniacs
  13. Somebody To Love – Queen
  14. Feels So Good – Chuck Mangione
  15. Baby, Come To Me – Patti Austin & James Ingram
  16. What You Won’t Do For Love – Bobby Caldwell
  17. Harden My Heart – Quarterflash
  18. King Of Pain – The Police

35th Anniversary Portrait Album

Clearly this sort of activity truly excludes me from my peer group as most people my age hate all the crap I listen to. This is a good filter though, as this portrait is a fairly good rendering of myself in music. Though, the aspects I chose to depict, and how I chose to express them, is a matter of some debate. Nonetheless, the album is here and it is full of contrasts and apt comparisons. I highly recommend giving it a listen if you are old and h really have nothing better you could be dong. I find this type of thing puts me back in touch with my traits and memories of varying emotional gravity. I highly recommend toiling in this way. The act of pairing oneself to aspects of music seems inherently like it’s at least exploration and quite possibly transformative.

 

  1. Impression AWhat A Fool Believes – Michael McDonald
  2. Impression BPork Parts – Ensemble Studios
  3. CharismaticThe Power Of Love – Huey Lewis and the News
  4. Mentally Ill(Sic) – Slipknot
  5. NaïvetéYou’re The Inspiration – Chicago
  6. CarnalWild Sex (In The Working Class) – Oingo Boingo
  7. IntrospectiveMan In The Mirror – Michael Jackson
  8. “Old Soul”Tomorrow – Joe Walsh
  9. ImmolativeRegular People (Conceit) – Pantera
  10. DetachedHey Nineteen – Steely Dan 
  11. CuriousOn The Road To Find Out – Cat Stevens
  12. AdaptiveI’m Still Standing – Elton John
  13. Original Still Alive – GLaDOS & johnathan Coulton
  14. RegretfulThe Other Guy – Little River Band
  15. HopefulThe Voice – The Moody Blues
  16. ResilientWaves – Blondfire
  17. Obscure Flavor Cats (In The Comfort Zone) – Ensamble Studios
  18. Unsatisfied – No One Like You – Scorpions

Flatness

Back from event this evening, many tired. My body hurts, and breathing wildfire smoke all afternoon was not a friend. I feel stretched, like thousands of tiny hooks are trying to peel off my skin. Achy creaks and general grunty responses are commonplace.

Good was dispensed this afternoon, assuredly. I muscled up and strapped on the happy smiles professional guise. La la! Have a happy fun!

Retreating to my soft place now, I recall how I was haunted by music today. Their faces came back to me. I saw things, and felt. I remembered. It was largely not a good thing.

All day it has been this way. I need rest, peace, sleep. I tried to do a good job, and I was told that I had. Positive affirmations. Progress. Steps forward, despite foreboding

It’s just me now. There will never be another. I am all there is left. I must go forward.

Action Distraction

Today has been difficult so far, but this afternoon’s booth duty should help that. I’m at the 24th St. bypass today at the Kumbaya Festival and I know that will keep me occupied. The festival lasts until 7 pm so I should be good and tired. I’m hearing a lot of music now, all the time today unless I am focusing on something else. Idle times bring the strings and beats of emotionally charged melodies. Lyrics marked as impactful slide next to amplified connectivity to memories, moments, good and bad. It sends me reeling at times, contrasted with a crushing weight of sadness that flattens me between hard metal plates. The defenses and constant optimistic spin has a cost, and the energy has been diminished over the last few months.

Salvation will be in the strength of will I contain in my desire to not collapse or crumble. I have taken action to remedy my neurochemical status but still have a good deal of time to go. My hope is to continue to prevail against the symptoms, the deep gravity of the abyss strengthening. There are so many things I feel pain over, for the things I have done to myself and others… there are many moments I wish had not been, but were nonetheless. Making sense of that pain has been my lesson, and it never stops hurting no matter how I cope with it. I can have benefit, but still know the ache of the sorrow. It reminds me of why I step forward.

I have no desire to fall apart, only to endure this challenge and emerge stronger. I used to quit on things, and myself, but now I know I won’t. It will be hard, yes, unavoidably so. So are all things that are truly worth having.

Memorization/Recitation

The following texts were typed from memory going back almost 20 years. name them both and you are awesome.

 

~~

In the year 10,191, the known universe is ruled by Emperor Shaddam IV, my father
In this time, the most precious substance in the universe is the Spice, Melange
The Spice extends live, the Spice expands consciousness, the Spice is vital to space travel
_________ who the spice has mutated over 4,000 years, use the orange spice gas, which gives them the ability to fold space
That is, travel to any part of the universe, without moving
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you
The spice exists on only 1 planet in the entire universe
A desolate, dry planet with vast deserts
Hidden away within the rocks of these deserts are a people known as the Fremen
And they have a saying,
That one day a man would come, a messiah, who would lead them to true freedom
The planet is Arrakkis… also known as, Dune.

~~~

The minstrel in the gallery

Looked down on all the smiling faces

He met the gazes, observed the spaces

Between the old man’s cackle

He brewed a song of love and hatred

Oblique suggestions, and he waited

He polarized the pumpkin-eaters

Static-humming panel-beaters

Freshly day-glowed factory cheaters

Salaried, and collar scrubbing

He titillated men of action

Belly warming, hands still rubbing

On the parts they never mention

He pacified the nappy suffering

Infant-bleating one line jokers

TV documentary makers

Overfed and undertakers

Sunday paper backgammon players

Family-scarred and women haters

And he called the band down to the stage

And he looked, at all the friends, he’d made

 

1. Spoken by Princess Irrulan before the beginning of the movie Dune
2. Minstrel In the Gallery – Written by Ian Anderson, performed by Jethro Tull

**UPDATED** 5/18 – Chapter 2.5?

A new album inspired by recent events. **UPDATE** There have been some uncanny harmonies I need to include, so the playlist has been adjusted.

  1. Hotel California – Eagles
  2. Walk Away – Joe Walsh
  3. For Whom The Bell Tolls – Metallica
  4. Don’t You Know What The Night Can Do? – Steve Winwood
  5. If I Can’t Have You – Yvonne Elliman
  6. No One In The World – Anita Baker
  7. Secret Separation – The Fixx
  8. Roam – The B-52’s
  9. A Little Respect – Erasure
  10. Middle Of The Road – The Pretenders
  11. No One Like You – Scorpions
  12. We Built This City – Starship
  13. What You Need – INXS
  14. Straight To My Heart – Sting
  15. Trouble Me – 10,000 Maniacs
  16. Beautiful – Gordon Lightfoot
  17. Right Down The Line – Gerry Rafferty

02/17 – Captivating Changes

This album was directly inspired by the litany of emotions I am going through in reference to Carly. It transitions from introductory feelings to a cooler silence of understanding and connection, which is replete with fire and passion. Compile the album and give it a listen to be truly in tune with my life experiences as of 5 days ago. It’s a bit soppy and mushy at times, but that’s how I am. This music really pulls my strings and gets me to feel things. It’s vital to understanding what I’m about.

Bold = The ones she copied to her playlist

  1. Cool Change – Little River Band
  2. Kodachrome – Paul Simon
  3. Biggest Part Of Me – Ambrosia
  4. You’re The Inspiration – Chicago
  5. Freedom 90 – George Michael
  6. The Promise – When In Rome
  7. More Than A Woman – Bee Gees
  8. Lovesong – The Cure
  9. Lady – Little River Band
  10. Secret Separation – The Fixx
  11. Tonight She Comes – The Cars
  12. Waves – Blondfire
  13. Reminiscing – Little River Band
  14. You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates
  15. Eternal Flame – The Bangles
  16. No One Like You – Scorpions
  17. Panama – Van Halen
  18. Spiders – System Of A Down

Spun Until Drippy

Score: +1.5
It’s cold in my apartment since all these storms started rolling in. I’m working on a remedy as I write this. I will probably have heat by tonight, which will make my evenings much more enjoyable. I’m huddled up on my couch with almost no exposed skin and multiple layers. It’s cold. 

But I’m listening to music… this is how I work okay blog? Music has tremendous emotional power. Tremendous. I can be pumped-up or brought to tears from one track to the next. I had several songs of significance in reference to my relationship with Amanda. Those songs all foreshadowed what was happening between us, as was the case when I went through the end with Jax. “Cowboys and Angels” was just one good example. “More Than Words” touched on a thread of contention in our physical relationship. I was here sobbing my way through the lyrics, missing her touch, her smell. It was all being ripped away by my logical mind. But my logical mind has the moral high ground on this one. Theres no victory to be had for sorrow. 

More music, this time “Lovesong” by The Cure. Wow. It’s spot on. It’s a promise I couldn’t keep. I will always love her, I just can’t help her anymore. It is a crushing weight on me every minute since I had to turn my back on her. I feel insanely horrible about it, but it would have meant I would have to change something fundamental about myself and perception of what is right and wrong in order to continue helping her. She walked somewhere I was not willing to follow, so I had to let her go. I miss her. She was a good friend to me for two years. I wanted that life with her. I’m sad she didn’t. Ok I probably shouldn’t blog and cry at the same time. 

In The Groove

Score: +3.5

It felt good today blog. Very. My morning started with Io bumping her head into me and licking my leg at 4:45 am. So I woke up thinking: she must be hungry. But both food bowls were full. Motivation unknown. So instead of lounging around for a couple hours I went to work. And as I stated earlier, it was good. 

I was in on some cool meetings, future projects, new responsibilities, the works. I was praised and acknowledged by my boss and peers. Amanda wrote on Facebook and Google + about how thankful she was for me, and all that I do to help. The positive feedback just keeps rolling in. I could get used to this. 

I think something chemical has happened to me: I used to get choked up when certain songs would come on the overhead speakers. But now, I don’t. Not at all. I don’t think about my ex when I hear it. It’s a response I didn’t think I would know again. I had just accepted that certain songs would always remind me of her, and the feelings would rush back. Those days, apparently, are over. 

Progress blog, progress. Three cheers to Sassafras the Fiesty for always checking in, even when her life has gone batshit. You rock. 

Mood Album I – The Complicated Smush

This album encapsulates the most recent iteration of my ongoing struggle with letting go of the past and exploring the future. I try to come to terms with my pain then turn that energy into a new direction. Love is miraculous in that it takes different shapes depending on the nature of the relationship. The back end of the album spins off into its own new pleasant direction. Build and enjoy. 

  1. Pamela – Toto
  2. King of Pain – The Police
  3. Changes IV – Cat Stevens
  4. What It Takes – Aerosmith
  5. Cowboys And Angels – George Michael
  6. Your Wildest Dreams – The Moody Blues
  7. Only In Your Heart – America
  8. While My Heart Is Still Beating – Roxy Music
  9. The Way I Feel – Robert Plant
  10. Be With You – The Bangles
  11. Are We Ourselves? – The Fixx
  12. Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) – Eurythmics
  13. I Want You So Bad – Heart
  14. Waiting For A Girl Like You – Foreigner
  15. You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates
  16. Just The Way You Are – Billy Joel
  17. Never Tear Us Apart – INXS 

Tonight’s Mood

Cowboys & Angels

George Michael


When your heart’s in someone else’s hands

Monkey see and monkey do

Their wish is your command

Not to blame

Everyone’s the same
All you do is love and love is all you do

I should know by now the way I fought for you

You’re not to blame, everyone’s the same
I know you think that you’re safe

Mister

Harmless deception

That keeps love at bay

It’s the ones who resist that we most want to kiss

Wouldn’t you say?
Cowboys and angels

They all have the time for you

Why should I imagine that I’d be a find for you

Why should I imagine

That I’d have something to say
But that scar on your face

That beautiful face of yours

In your heart there’s a trace

Of someone before
When your heart’s in someone else’s plans

Things you say and things you do

That they don’t understand

You’re not to blame

Always ends the same
You can call it love but I don’t think it’s true

You should know by now

I’m not the boy for you

You’re not to blame

Always ends the same
I know you think that you’re safe

Sister

Harmless affection that keeps things this way

It’s the ones who persist for the sake of a kiss

Who will pay and pay

Cowboys and angels

They all have the time for you

Why should I imagine that I was designed for you

Why should I believe

That you would stay
But that scar on your face

That beautiful face of yours

Don’t you think that I’d know

They’ve hurt you, before
Take this man to your place

Maybe his hands can help you forget

Please be stronger than your past

The future may still give you a chance

The future, the future, not the past
That scar on your face

That beautiful face of yours

Don’t you think that I know

They hurt you before

September Mood Album – The Grace Of Knowing

This album is inspired by the changes in my life since I met Amanda, and is a bit of a narrative chronicling the emotional story of our relationship. It starts off with my coping with the divorce, and makes a statement about the new course my life has taken. It is not meant to literally speak any truths, but the tempo and mood of each song (and how it is related to others) make the album tell a tale through sound and feel. I encourage you to YouTube the tracks and make your own playlist to fully understand what I’m trying to say. 

  1. MFC – Pearl Jam
  2. Waves – Blondfire
  3. Move On – George Michael
  4. Simple Kind Of Life – No Doubt
  5. Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) – Green Day
  6. Summer In The City – The Lovin’ Spoonful
  7. One Of These Nights – The Eagles
  8. Crazy On You – Heart
  9. Oh! Darling – The Beatles
  10. Take Me Home Tonight – Eddie Money
  11. Chains Of Love – Erasure
  12. Tonight, Tonight – Genesis
  13. Let’s Dance – David Bowie
  14. Lovesong – The Cure
  15. More Than Words – Extreme
  16. Lady – Little River Band
  17. Do You Believe In Love – Huey Lewis And The News
  18. Wrapped Around Your Finger – The Police
  19. Carpet Of The Sun – Renaissance

No One Like You – Scorpions 

Girl, it’s been a long time that we’ve been apart,

Much too long for a man that needs love,

I’ve missed you since I’ve been away, 

Oh babe, wasn’t easy to leave you alone, 

It gets harder each time that I go,

If I had a choice, I would stay,

There’s no one like you,

I can’t wait for the nights with you, 

I imagine the things we do,

I just want to be loved by you,

No one like you,

I can’t wait for the nights with you, 

I imagine the things we do,

I just want to be loved, by you. 

Girl, there are really no words strong enough,

To describe all my longing for love,

I don’t want my feelings restrained,

Oh babe, now I need you like never before,

Just imagine you’d come through this door, 

And take all my sorrows away,

There’s no one like you,

I can’t wait for the nights with you,

I imagine the things we do,

I just want to be loved by you,

No one like you,

I can’t wait for the nights with you,

I imagine the things we do,

I just want to be loved by you. 

Straight To My Heart – Sting

In a hundred years from now

They will attempt to tell us how

The scientific means to bliss

Will supersede the human kiss

A subatomic chain

Will maybe galvanize your brain

And a biochemic trance

Will eliminate romance

Why ever should we care?

When there are arrows in the air

Formed by lover’s ancient art

That fly straight to my heart,

A future sugar-coated pill

Will give our lovers time to kill

I think they’re working far too much

For the redundancy of touch

What will make me yours

Are a million deadly spores

Formed by lover’s ancient art

That fly straight to my heart

Come in to my door

Be the light in my life

Come in to my door

Never have to sweep the floor

Come in to my door

Be the light in my life

Come in to my door

Come and be my wife

I’ll be true

To no one but you


If it’s a future world we fear

We have tomorrow’s seeds right here

You can hold them in your hand 

Or let them fall into the sand


If our love is pure

The only thing of which we’re sure

Is that you can play your part

And fly straight to my heart


If I’m to seek immunity

And love you with impunity

Then the only thing to do

Is for me to pledge myself to you


Only dealt one card

So for me it is not hard

Your the bright star in my chart

You go straight to my heart

Waves – Blondfire

You hear them when you try to fall asleep,
They crash to the shore, they come from the deep.
As sure as a sun will rise a sun will set,
You taste the salt, the closer you get.

Waves,
Picking you up, pushing you down.
Waves,
Just like a dream, silver and green, we live in between.
They can carry you all the way to me, they can pull you out to the deep blue sea, oh waves,
There are waves.

Empires will crumble to the sand,
All that you love, can slip through your hand,
But you must face the ocean once again,
Follow the tides, wherever you’ve been.

Waves,
Picking you up, pushing you down.
Waves,
Just like a dream, silver and green, we live in between.
They can carry you all the way to me, they can pull you out to the deep blue sea, oh waves,
There are waves.

January Mood Album – Leaps And Bounds

I haven’t done one of these in a good long while, and since I’ve been on such a tear of late, now would be great time to do one. The motivation for this album comes from the narrative of progress, and the struggle to endure the cycles of depression. This album goes from a fractured, angry place to a corrected path leading to prosperity, with pauses along the way to remember the past.

1. Holiday – Green Day
2. Falling Away From Me – Korn
3. Meet The Creeper – Rob Zombie
4. All Over You – Live
5. Tonight She Comes – The Cars
6. Too Low For Zero – Elton John
7. What I Got (Reprise) – Sublime
8. Philadelphia Freedom – Hall & Oates
9. Creep – Radiohead
10. Walking On Broken Glass – Annie Lennox
11. Big Girls Don’t Cry (Personal) – Fergie
12. Laid So Low (Tears Roll Down) – Tears For Fears
13. Stand Or Fall – The Fixx
14. Deep – Pearl Jam
15. Kyrie – Mr. Mister
16. Paparazzi – Lady GaGa
17. Neutron Dance – The Pointer Sisters
18. A Little Respect – Erasure
19. Can’t Take It With You – The Alan Parsons Project

Fergie – Big Girls Don’t Cry (Personal)

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You’re probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection, baby
To be with myself in center
Clarity, peace, serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, myself and I
We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do

And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I’ve got to get a move on with my life
It’s time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry

The path that I’m walkin’, I must go alone
I must take the baby steps ’til I’m full grown, full grown
Fairy tales don’t always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, myself and I
We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do

And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I’ve got to get a move on with my life
It’s time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We’ll play jacks and Uno cards
I’ll be your best friend and you’ll be my
Valentine

Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to
‘Cause I want to hold yours too
We’ll be playmates and lovers
And share our secret worlds

But it’s time for me to go home
It’s getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself in center
Clarity, peace, serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, myself and I
We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do

And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I’ve got to get a move on with my life
It’s time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry

The Promise – When In Rome

If you need a friend
Don’t look to a stranger
You know in the end, I’ll always be there
But when you’re in doubt
And when you’re in danger
Take a look all around, and I’ll be there

I’m sorry, but I’m just thinking of the right words to say
I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be
But if you wait around a while, I’ll make you fall for me
I promise, I promise you I will

When your day is through
And so is your temper
You know what to do
I’m gonna always be there
Sometimes if I shout
It’s not what’s intended
These words just come out
With no gripe to bear

I’m sorry, but I’m just thinking of the right words to say
I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be
But if you wait around a while, I’ll make you fall for me
I promise you, I promise you

I’m sorry, but I’m just thinking of the right words to say
I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be
And if I had to walk the world, I’d make you fall for me
I promise you, I promise you I will

Wild World – Cat Stevens

Now that I’ve lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it’s breakin’ my heart you’re leavin’
Baby, I’m grievin’
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
It’s hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
I’ll always remember you like a child, girl

You know I’ve seen a lot of what the world can do
And it’s breakin’ my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you a sad girl
Don’t be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there’s a lot of bad and beware

Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
It’s hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
I’ll always remember you like a child, girl

Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there’s a lot of bad and beware

Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
It’s hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
I’ll always remember you like a child, girl

My Friday Story

I had another blistering day in the billing queue, handling more than 40. And at least one very irate person who wasn’t listening to me even though I was nice. She just really wanted to yell at someone and I got lucky and pulled the call. I wish only that I could have helped the lady with what she wanted, but she wasn’t going to listen. Regardless of the words I said. I heard a song today that really hung with me, as you may have noticed by the song I put up late in the afternoon. It just reminded me of what it felt like to lose Jax and know I was never getting her back. Just hit me hard. Sometimes that happens with music, for me anyway.

Blog, it’s the beginning of my weekend. Yet another leading me to the week in which my new position will at last be realized. I went up to 14 an hour… which is effectively $300 more a month. It’s like getting a fifth paycheck every 4 weeks. And I will get medical benefits, retirement and all that. I fully intend to stay with Mood for the rest of my days, so buying into the retirement 401k is a great idea. Get started on living the high life later on down the road. And I do mean way way later.

I do feel like I’m walking on broken glass sometimes, but I guess it’s really a testament to how deeply I feel. I get emotionally injured, and that seems like a difficult thing to recover from even after nearly 7 months. She’s moved right along. But I have not stopped hurting… it just lessens after days, weeks go by. I don’t sit and cry about it like I used to. So I got that going for me.

Tomorrow we pack the truck and head on out to lovely Lake Morena for a one-night campout. I haven’t been camping since… OH WAIT, I have been camping outside my parent’s RV for the ENTIRE SUMMER. And what do I go and do the first weekend I get to myself? I go camping. Duh.

So blog, it’s been an intense week, and now it’s time to take a break and have some fun. I will, however, not particularly enjoy sleeping on the ground, as dirt is usually pretty hard. It makes me think: if I were homeless, I’d get tired of sleeping on the ground in a hurry. It may be enough to inspire me to advance myself to the point of not having to sleep on the ground. If get motivated for the sake of comfort. For sure.

Goodnight blog. Hope you have as much (or more) fun with your weekend as I will.

Walking On Broken Glass – Annie Lennox

You were the sweetest thing that I ever knew
But I don’t care for sugar honey if I can’t have you
Since you’ve abandoned me
My whole life has crashed
Won’t you pick the pieces up
’cause it feels just like I’m walking on broken glass

Walking on walking on broken glass

The sun’s still shining in the big blue sky
But it don’t mean nothing to me
Oh let the rain come down
Let the wind blow through me
I’m living in an empty room
With all the windows smashed
And I’ve got so little left to lose
That it feels just like I’m walking on broken glass

Walking on walking on broken glass

And if you’re trying to cut me down
You know that I might bleed
Cause if you’re trying to cut me down
I know that you’ll succeed
And if you want to hurt me
There’s nothing left to fear
Cause if you want to hurt me
You’re doing really well my dear

Now everyone of us was made to suffer
Everyone of us was made to weep
But we’ve been hurting one another
And now the pain has cut too deep…
So take me from the wreckage
Save me from the blast
Lift me up and take me back
Don’t let me keep on walking…
Walking on broken glass

Walking on walking on broken glass

I Don’t Wanna Go On With You Like That – Elton John

I’ve always said that one’s enough to love
Now I hear you’re bragging one is not enough
Well, someone told me you’re not satisfied
You got plans to make me one of four or five

I guess this kind of thing’s just in your blood
But you won’t catch me carving up my love
I ain’t no puzzle piece that needs to fit
If it takes more than me, let’s call it quits

‘Cause I don’t wanna go on with you like that
Don’t wanna be a feather in your cap
I just don’t wanna tell you honey I ain’t mad
But I don’t wanna go on with you like that

It gets so hard sometimes to understand
This vicious circle’s getting out of hand
Don’t need an extra eye to see
That the fire spreads a faster in a breeze

And I don’t wanna go on with you like that
Don’t wanna be a feather in your cap
I just don’t wanna tell you honey I ain’t mad
But I don’t wanna go on with you like that

No I don’t wanna go on with you like that
One more set of boots on your welcome mat
You’ll just have to quit them if you want me back
‘Cause I don’t wanna go on with you like that

Oh, if you wanna spread it around, sister that’s just fine
But I don’t want no second hand feeding me lines
If you wanna hold someone in the middle of the night
Call out the guards, turn out the light

And I don’t wanna go on with you like that
Don’t wanna be a feather in your cap
I just don’t wanna tell you honey I ain’t mad
But I don’t wanna go on with you like that

No I don’t wanna go on with you like that
One more set of boots on your welcome mat
You’ll just have to quit them if you want me back
No, I don’t wanna go on with you like that

September Mood Album: Frisky Mittens

  1. Mad World – Tears For Fears
  2. Any Way You Want It – Journey
  3. Spanish Flea – Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass
  4. Hysteria – Def Leppard
  5. Walking On A Thin Line – Huey Lewis & The News
  6. Secret Separation – The Fixx
  7. Please Please Me – The Beatles
  8. Kodachrome – Paul Simon
  9. Kiss On My List – Hall & Oates
  10. The Night Owls – Little River Band
  11. A Little Respect – Erasure
  12. Baker Street – Gerry Rafferty
  13. The Promise – When In Rome
  14. Somebody To Love – Jefferson Airplane
  15. I Don’t Wanna Go On With You Like That – Elton John
  16. The Other Side Of Life – The Moody Blues
  17. Every Breath You Take – The Police
  18. More Than A Woman – Bee Gees
  19. Caught Up In The Rapture – Anita Baker

New Playlist – The Curse Of The Twisted Muse

I’m a scatterbrained monkey of volatile passions and mixed emotional responses. I think about people, events, time. All the cosmic possibilities. Asteroids, the ocean, the Pacific tectonic plate. I pile that all into one wacky mood roller coaster of up, down, flat, down up up skyward! You won’t ever know how I was feeling until you listen to it!

 

  1. On The Road To Find Out – Cat Stevens
  2. Hypnotized – Fleetwood Mac
  3. Freedom 90 – George Michael
  4. Listen Like Thieves – INXS
  5. Just Like Heaven – The Cure
  6. My Best Friend’s Girl – The Cars
  7. Photograph – Def Leppard
  8. No Alibis – Eric Clapton
  9. Another Girl – The Beatles
  10. Ride My See-Saw – The Moody Blues
  11. You Really Got Me – Van Halen
  12. Boogie Wonderland – Earth, Wind & Fire
  13. If This Is It – Huey Lewis & The News
  14. Time Out Of Mind – Steely Dan
  15. Sunshine In The Shade – The Fixx
  16. Levon – Elton John
  17. Tomorrow – Joe Walsh
  18. Reminiscing – Little River Band
  19. End Of The Line – Traveling Wilburys

For Megan: Introduction In Music

I’ve decided to put together this playlist to encapsulate my current state of mind as a music playlist. I do this so that anyone bumping in to this might gather a better understanding about where I am in my head, and in my heart. So it’s full of ups and downs, naturally, and very tweaky. If that makes any sense.

 

  1. Gaucho – Steely Dan
  2. Question – The Moody Blues
  3. The Sign Of Fire – The FIxx
  4. Cherry Bomb – John Mellencamp
  5. Come Undone – Duran Duran
  6. Since You’re Gone – The Cars
  7. Stop Loving You – Toto
  8. Helplessly Hoping – Crosby, Stills & Nash
  9. Time – The Alan Parsons Project
  10. The Heart Of The Matter – Don Henley
  11. The Boxer – Simon & Garfunkel
  12. Won’t Get Fooled Again – The Who
  13. If I Fell – The Beatles
  14. Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song) – Billy Joel
  15. Harmony – Elton John
  16. You’re The Inspiration – Chicago
  17. Wild Sex (In The Working Class) – Oingo Boingo
  18. You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates

Why Should I Cry For You – Sting

Under the dog star sail.
Over the reefs of moonshine.
Under the skies of fall.
North, north west, the Stones of Faroe.

Under the Arctic fire.
Over the seas of silence.
Hauling on frozen ropes–
For all my days remaining.
But would north be true?

All colors bleed to red.
Asleep on the ocean’s bed.
Drifting on empty seas–
For all my days remaining.

But would north be true?
Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?
Dark angels follow me–
Over a godless sea.
Mountains of endless falling,
For all my days remaining,

What would be true?

Sometimes I see your face–
The stars seem to lose their place.
Why must I think of you?
Why must I?
Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?
Why would you want me to?
And what would it mean to say,
That, “I loved you in my fashion”?

What would be true?
Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?

August Mood Album – Willing Onward

I’ve been struggling with my sadness lately, and I’m sure you’re aware of that detail. I put together this album just trying to summarize my emotional adventure of late. So throw this list together and give my inmost state a listen.

1. Driven Out – The Fixx
2. Heart And Soul – Huey Lewis & The News
3. No One In The World – Anita Baker
4. Something About You – Level 42
5. You Might Think – The Cars
6. Where Do You Think You’re Going – Dire Straits
7. The Stranger – Billy Joel
8. In Hiding – Pearl Jam
9. It Keeps You Runnin’ – The Doobie Brothers
10. Why Should I Cry For You – Sting
11. I Wouldn’t Want To Be Like You – The Alan Parsons Project
12. I’ll Be Over You – Toto
13. Nursie – Jethro Tull
14. Learning To Fly – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
15. Winds Of Change – Scorpions
16. The Finer Things – Steve Winwood
17. Help Is On Its Way – Little River Band
18. Waiting For A Girl Like You – Foreigner
19. Right Down The Line – Gerry Rafferty

Playlist: Benevolence And The Reckoning

Not sure what I was thinking here. I’m in a bit of a tumultuous state with my schedule and all. I’m doing great, but sometimes I get so reflective, internal, sad. I often look at my past and remember how good I had it. How hard it is now. SO it comes from that sort of place.

1. Imagine A Man – The Who
2. Now Or Never – Kenny Loggins
3. Eye In The Sky – The Alan Parsons Project
4. Paint It Black – The Rolling Stones
5. Whiskey In The Jar – Metallica
6. Ride Like The Wind – Christopher Cross
7. Carry On – Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
8. Long Distance Runaround – Yes
9. Keep On Going – Fleetwood Mac
10. Walking On The Moon – The Police
11. Praying For Time – George Michael
12. While My Guitar Gently Weeps – The Beatles
13. Sacrifice – Elton John
14. In Your Room – The Bangles
15. Fragile – Sting
16. Same Old Lang Syne – Dan Fogelberg
17. The Sound Of Silence – Simon & Garfunkel

Ride Like The Wind – Christopher Cross

It is the night
My body’s weak
I’m on the run
No time to sleep
I’ve got to ride
Ride like the wind
To be free again

And I’ve got such a long way to go
To make it to the border of Mexico
So I’ll ride like the wind
Ride like the wind

I was born the sun of a lawless man
Always spoke my mind with a gun in my hand
Lived nine lives
Gunned down ten
Gonna ride like the wind

And I’ve got such a long way to go
To make it to the border of Mexico
So I’ll ride like the wind
Ride like the wind

Accused and tried and told to hang
I was nowhere in sight when the church bells rang
Never was the kind to do as I was told
Gonna ride like the wind before I get old

And I’ve got such a long way to go
To make it to the border of Mexico
So I’ll ride like the wind
Ride like the wind

July Mood Album – Red Envy

1. Always With Me, Always With You – Joe Satriani
2. Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) – Journey
3. I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On – Robert Palmer
4. Should’ve Known Better – Richard Marx
5. Woman In Chains – Tears For Fears
6. Transmaniacon MC – Blue Oyster Cult
7. The Voice – The Moody Blues
8. Otherside – Red Hot Chili Peppers
9. Jet – Paul McCartney & Wings
10. Roundabout – Yes
11. Policy Of Truth – Depeche Mode
12. Back In Black – AC/DC
13. Wild World – Cat Stevens
14. Zanzibar – Billy Joel
15. Never – Heart
16. No One Like You – Scorpions
17. The Power Of Love – Huey Lewis & The News

No One Like You – Scorpions

Girl, it’s been a long time that we’ve been apart
Much to long for a man who needs love
I miss you since I’ve been away
Babe, wasn’t easy to leave you alone
It’s getting harder each time that I go
If I had the choice I would stay

There’s no one like you
I can’t wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things well do
I just want to be loved by you
No one like you
I can’t wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things well do
I just want to be loved by you

Girl, there are really no words strong enough
To describe all my longing for love
I don’t want my feelings restrained
Oh babe, I just need you like never before
Just imagine you’d come through this door
You’d take all my sorrow away

There’s no one like you
I can’t wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things well do
I just want to be loved by you
No one like you
I can’t wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things well do
I just want to be loved by you

Getting Closer – Billy Joel

I went searching for the truth
But in my innocence I found
All the con men and their acrobats
Who stomped me in the ground
If I count up their percentages
I know they’re getting rich
But they haven’t taken everything
Those paybacks are a bitch

Though I’ve lost quite a lot
I am still in control
They can keep what they’ve got
But they can’t have my soul
And if I don’t have this all worked out
Still I’m getting closer, getting closer
I still have far to go no doubt
But I’m getting closer, getting closer

What was ripped off by professionals
Is not all that it seems
While I must live up to contracts
I did not give up my dreams
If I see it as experience
It hasn’t gone to waste
Lately all the missing pieces
Have been falling into place

And if I could go back and start over somehow
I would not change that much
Knowing what I know now
Thought there have been sins
I will regret
Still I’m getting close, getting closer
I don’t have all the answers yet
But I’m getting closer, getting closer

I’m a mark for every shyster
From Topanga to Berlin
And I should have learned to kick them out
As soon as they crawled in
So to every bank in Switzerland
That stores my stolen youth
I’m all right because despite the laws
You cannot hide the truth

And although you will say
I am still too naive
But I have not lost faith
In the things I believe

And if I don’t have a this all worked out
Still I’m getting closer, getting closer
I still have far to go no doubt
But I’m still getting closer, getting closer

Should’ve Known Better – Richard Marx

Another sleepless night I can’t explain,
Somebody said they heard me call your name,
The radio won’t let you leave my mind,
I know it’s over but I don’t know why.

Should’ve known better–
Than to fall in love with you.
Now love is just a faded memory.
Should’ve known better–
Now I’m a prisoner to this pain,
And my heart still aches for you.

There was no risk that I wouldn’t take,
And not a promise that I didn’t make,
All I asked was that you just hold on,
And now I’m wondering what I did wrong.

Should’ve known better–
Than to fall in love with you.
Now love is just a faded memory.
Should’ve known better–
Now I’m a prisoner to this pain,
And my heart still aches for you.

I gave you all of my body and soul,
Never believing we might lose control,
I took my hands off the wheel.

I can’t remember if the lies were true.
It’s been a million years since I touched you.
I thought time might help me win this game,
But being away from you is slowly driving me insane.
Should’ve known better–
Than to fall in love with you.
Now love is just a faded memory.
Should’ve known better–
Now I’m a prisoner to this pain,
And my heart still aches for you.

4 By 20

Not what you think. Seriously.

Now, it’s just math. 20 4 minute tracks make 1 perfect 80 minute CD. So I figured, “how many could there be?” and then I had 50 of them to sort through. Needless to say, this is pretty oddball. And no storyline here, just broken, fractured references and beats all mish-mashed together in a trianwerck mess. It’s butcheringly bad to listen to. It is so bad, I made up that word “butcheringly” to describe it. Damn. I’ll give it credit for having so much modern flair. Bravo.

  1. Moon Over Bourbon Street – Sting
  2. Carolina In My Mind – James Taylor
  3. Your Song – Elton John
  4. Skating Away (On The Thin Ice Of A New Day) – Jethro Tull
  5. Trouble Child – Joni Mitchell
  6. I’m Losing You – John Lennon
  7. I’m So Glad – Cream
  8. Follow You Follow Me – Genesis
  9. Borderline – Madonna
  10. Turn To Stone – Joe Walsh
  11. Got Me Under Pressure – ZZ Top
  12. Stone Blue – Foghat
  13. All Over You – Live
  14. Don’t Tread On Me – Metallica
  15. Time Bomb – Godsmack
  16. Starlight – Muse
  17. Driven Out – The Fixx
  18. Bathwater – No Doubt
  19. You Learn – Alanis Morissette
  20. Caribbean Blue – Enya

Playlist: The Imprefect “80”

In my quest to find the most arbitrary conglomeration of songs in the history of ever, I’ve come up with a nerdy way to ensure a truly random assortment. I did some math, and if you want 18 tracks to equal exactly 80 minutes, they need to be 4 minutes and 26 seconds long each. It’s close, but not perfect. This is easily the WORST collection of tracks I’ve ever seen assembled. The music makes no sense. There is no flow whatsoever. These songs couldn’t be any more off-base. But I did it, I’m listening to it as my laundry dries. I’m wholly disappointed, and I’m only 3 tracks in. Sigh. Why do I do this?

  1. Locomotive Breath – Jethro Tull
  2. House Made Of Dawn Light – Douglas Spotted Eagle
  3. Signs Of Life – Pink Floyd
  4. Amazing – George Michael
  5. Sweet Love – Anita Baker
  6. Forever – Kenny Loggins
  7. World Turning – Fleetwood Mac
  8. Orinoco Flow – Enya
  9. Shakedown – Spyro Gyra
  10. Only ‘Cause I Don’t Have You – Harry Connick, Jr.
  11. If You Were Me – Elton John and Chris Rea
  12. Shameless – Billy Joel
  13. Roll Yer Own – Jethro Tull
  14. The Reflex – Duran Duran
  15. True To Life – Roxy Music
  16. Hope For The Runaway – Kenny Loggins
  17. Would I Lie To You – Eurythmics
  18. Eddie’s Coming Out Tonight – Night Ranger

I only know about 3 of these songs. Who the hell is Night Ranger? Douglas Spotted Eagle? Really? Can’t color code emotions to any of this crap either. Just don’t know what I was thinking. SIGNS OF LIFE IS NOISE. NOT MUSIC. The whole point of this playlist has been defeated.

Whackazoid Virus On The Loose

I should have you trained by now, to be expecting some form of playlist every few days. This is no exception, being born of a desire to hear more professional caterwauling and other forms of noise that you may or may not find amusing. I had a smile on my face the whole way through the album. No room for woe on this party train!

 

  1. Take On Me – a-Ha
  2. Sledgehammer – Peter Gabriel
  3. Easy Lover – Phil Collins & Philip Bailey
  4. Africa – Toto
  5. Gemini Dream – The Moody Blues
  6. Head Over Heels – Tears For Fears
  7. Castles In The Sand – Seals & Crofts
  8. Flesh ‘n Blood – Oingo Boingo
  9. Love Shack – B-52’s
  10. Sonnet – The Verve
  11. Killer Queen – Queen
  12. Stealin’ Time – Gerry Rafferty
  13. Jet – Paul McCartney & Wings
  14. Hey Nineteen – Steely Dan
  15. Back In The High Life Again – Steve Winwood
  16. Don’t Answer Me – The Alan Parsons Project
  17. I Know You’re Out There Somewhere – The Moody Blues

4 Minutes, 44 Seconds

Hard job making a playlist out of the 60 or so songs of that exact length.Why? WHY NOT I SAY! I came to the number due in large part to a math fail. There you have it.

Made a pretty remarkable set, once I trimmed the list and organized the tracks. BEHOLD:

4:44

 

  1. Mercy Street – Peter Gabriel
  2. Hard Habit To Break – Chicago
  3. How Much I Feel – Ambrosia
  4. Praying For Time – George Michael
  5. I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues – Elton John
  6. Only You – Harry Connick, Jr.
  7. Escapade – Janet Jackson
  8. Ramblin’ Man – The Allman Brothers Band
  9. Island World – Hiroshima
  10. Head – Prince
  11. Jack-A-Lynn – Jethro Tull
  12. Let Me Take You Home Tonight – Boston
  13. Heartbeat – Wham!
  14. Little Tin God – Don Henley
  15. Meadows – Joe Walsh
  16. My Life – Billy Joel

 

The Heart Of The Matter – Don Henley

I got the call today,
I didn’t wanna hear…
But I knew that it would come.
An old true friend of ours was talkin’ on the phone–
She said you found someone.
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through–
And how I lost me and you lost you.
What are these voices outside love’s open door–
Make us throw off our contentment–
And beg for something more?

I’m learning to live without you now.
But I miss you sometimes.
The more I know,
The less I understand–
All the things I thought I knew,
I’m learning again.
I’ve been tryin’ to get down to the heart of the matter–
But my will gets weak–
And my thoughts seem to scatter–
But I think it’s about–
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness.
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore.

These times are so uncertain–
There’s a yearning undefined.
A people filled with rage.
We all need a little tenderness–
How can love survive,
In such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance–
That can lead to happiness,
They’re the very things,
we kill, I guess…
Pride and competition–
Cannot fill these empty arms!
And the work I put between us,
You know doesn’t keep me warm.

I’m learning to live without you, now.
But I miss you, baby.
The more I know, the less I understand.
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again.
I’ve been tryin’ to get down to the heart of the matter–
But everything changes–
And my friends seem to scatter–
But I think it’s about–
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness.
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore.

There are people in your life who’ve come and gone–
They gonna’ let you down–
You know they hurt your pride!
Better put it all behind you; cause’ life goes on…
You keep carrin’ that anger, it’ll eat you up inside, baby…

I’ve been tryin’ to get down to the heart of the matter,
But my will gets weak–
And my thoughts seem to scatter–
But I think it’s about–
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness.
Even if, even if you don’t love me…

I’ve been tryin’ to get down to the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak–
And the ashes will scatter–
So I’m thinkin’ about–
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness.
Even if, even if you don’t love me…

Playlist: The Rhetoric Of Flowers

Going through emotions, I find the best way to express how I am feeling, in all it’s various facets, is to use a medium that can support an eclectic expression of ideas. I often turn to music to help me get things processed. I like that, because it seems to generate a very fulfilled sensation, as though I know my thoughts got responded to.

Typically, I’ll generate one of these playlists over a period of hours. I literally go through the alphabetical list of artists until I have around 80 songs or so selected that match my feelings. From that point, I crop the tracks until the playlist runs somewhere under 1 hour 20 minutes. That is pretty much the only criteria for this thing. It’s just so much fun, and answers a need to be seen from myself. After having constructed the sequence below, I feel uplifted, acknowledged and expressed.

This one goes out to all the broken hearts out there, aching in silence. The ebb and flow of the emotional sea is ever-churning. Be prepared to feel.

  1. Expecting To Fly – Buffalo Springfield
  2. Under The Bridge – Red Hot Chili Peppers
  3. Cool Change – Little River Band
  4. Wild World – Cat Stevens
  5. Spinning The Wheel – George Michael
  6. Shape Of My Heart – Sting
  7. Down To The Waterline – Dire Straits
  8. Your Song – Elton John
  9. Check It Out – John Cougar Mellencamp
  10. September – Earth, Wind & Fire
  11. Sanctuary – Ian Anderson
  12. I’m A Loser – The Beatles
  13. Long Train Runnin’ – The Doobie Brothers
  14. Shoot To Thrill – AC/DC
  15. I Get Around – The Beach Boys
  16. Animal – Def Leppard
  17. Untitled – Live
  18. Smooth – Santana & Rob Thomas

A Morning Dance

I’ve had my head in the world of new music lately. I discovered the brilliance of Billy Joel’s 52nd Street, then had a grand time learning The Who’s Tommy. I just found out about how awesome Gerry Rafferty is, for example.

I haven’t grown up in a sheltered musical environment by any stretch. My parent’s music collection is what I grew up with, so, there are bound to be a few dated oddities in there… like Steeleye Span or Renaissance. You see… this has been a stumbling block of sorts in my life. No one I have ever been with jived with my musical preferences. I listen to what I was brought up with, and enjoyed it thoroughly. Frankly, I find most modern music to be abhorrent. Rap and most thing R&B I will pass on. To me, music is about the quality of the sound, the instruments, the beats, the lyrics and how they’re composed. All that said, Lady GaGa is this generation’s Madonna.

Every genre has it’s good and it’s bad, obviously. I don’t just blanket love everything antiquated. I’m still picky.

But who to share this excellent collection with? Ah, the greatest mystery of all. And not one that needs an answer anytime soon, hehe.

Speaking of mystery… I read a poignant and sharply worded reply from Jax to one of my earlier posts (on her blog, in reply to me, I suppose). I really wish she would have posted the rant as a comment so you all could see it. I don’t like judging things like this, because it takes away from an understanding of content/message. I’m not really sure what the hope is in retaliating, or getting all worked up about something anyone with eyes can see. I don’t get flabbergasted because I live in a tent, as though I’m somehow surprised by a truth I’ve known all along. I have selected my lot and am intent on sticking with it until “better” rolls around. That’s just me (which I guess is a destructive way of thinking, according to objectors). And frankly, this whole topic was never really open for discussion. You decided to respond in your own limited, dimensionless, usual capacity, and in such a way that seeks no resolution, but responds as a defense-mechanism (driven by rage) does; by lashing back and objecting to the points that are (quite) indisputable. I don’t argue when it comes to things that just happened one way and not another.

But she’s right that for a time, I would not help myself. This is true. I was so strung out on work, that I had pushed all my “self-worth” chips into the center and bet it all to win. Trouble there, is when I started to break down under the stress, I lost my identity as I lost a place to function at work. I let work be the column that held up my sky.  Even in your somewhat deluded state, I know you can see how that job was my world, and it consumed me. And why is your reaction to my situation to abandon me? If I can’t hold myself up… hmmm… fuck him, we’re out of here! Right? Did it go another way that I’m not aware of? I was there too, IN CASE YOU FORGOT.  I saw that when things were at their worst, you wanted out, and took the first solid exit opportunity you could. That happened. I don’t know how you make that turd smell better, but I applaud you for your efforts in trying.

 

Dr. Kower agrees. She said to me that she tried to stop the collapse by going with my med changes that I was recommending… but even she knew, based on what I was telling her every few weeks, that it was doomed to fail. That was hard, being effectively “squeezed-out” of my job and my disability’s symptoms were already charging back into my life.

So what does any of that matter?

I know some new things now that I didn’t know about myself. And I’m improving. To me, this all seems like I’m headed in a positive direction and whatnot. I’m not sprinting towards glory or anything, but who is really?

Your words, Jax, don’t carry the load of truth with them. Instead, they are eased with lies, misconstrued facts and bitterness of some form. I’ll not participate in the rhetorical exchange. It doesn’t matter to me anymore.

 

What’s really going on here is that the end of our arrangement has come, and now it’s time for a cool change.

Right Down The Line – Gerry Rafferty

You know I need your love,
You got that hold over me.
Long as I got your love,
You know that I’ll never leave.
When I wanted you to share my life,
I had no doubt in my mind–
And it’s been you,
Woman,
Right down the line.

I know how much I lean on you,
Only you can see.
Changes that I’ve been through,
Have left their mark on me.
You’ve been as constant as a northern star,
The brightest light that shines–
It’s been you,
Woman,
Right down the line.

I just wanna say this is my way–
Of telling you everything I could never,
Say before.
Yeah, this is my way–
Of telling you that every day I’m loving you,
So much more.

‘Cause you believed in me,
Through my darkest night.
Put something better inside of me,
You brought me into the light.
Threw away all those crazy dreams,
I put them all behind–
And it was you,
Woman,
Right down the line
I just wanna say this is my way–
Of telling you everything I could never,
Say before.
Yeah, this is my way–
Of telling you that every day I’m loving you,
So much more

If I should doubt myself,
If I’m losing ground.
I won’t turn to someone else,
They’d only let me down.
When I wanted you to share my life,
I had no doubt in my mind–
And it’s been you,
Woman,
Right down the line.

The Cutting Edge Of Reason: A Musical Odyssey

I’ve composed a musical through a fantastic playlist. The inspiration for this one just comes from a sense of awareness of where I am in my life and how I feel about the world. I’m spinning this as best a fledgling optimist can, so be prepared for a transition or two. To memories their respect, eh?

Coded by their moods and tempos.

THE EPIDEMIC OF INEVITABILITY

  1. Money For Nothing – Dire Straits
  2. Time – The Alan Parsons Project
  3. These Dreams – Heart
  4. Where The Streets Have No Name – U2
  5. Thinking Of You – Loggins & Messina
  6. No One In The World – Anita Baker
  7. Tonight, Tonight – Genesis
  8. Walk This Way – Aerosmith
  9. Cruel Summer – Bananarama
  10. Three Little Birds – Bob Marley & The Wailers
  11. Broken Wings – Mr. Mister
  12. Eternal Flame – The Bangles
  13. It Keeps You Runnin’ – The Doobie Brothers
  14. You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates
  15. Black Dog – Led Zeppelin
  16. Renegade – Styx
  17. Someone To Lay Down Beside Me – Linda Rondstadt
  18. Off The Wall – Michael Jackson
  19. Maybe I’m Amazed – Paul McCartney & Wings

Zanzibar – Billy Joel

Ali dances and the audience applauds
Though he’s bathed in sweat he hasn’t lost his style
Ali don’t you go downtown
You gave away another round for free

Me, I’m just another face at Zanzibar
But the waitress always serves a secret smile
She’s waiting out in Shantytown
She’s gonna pull the curtains down for me, for me

I’ve got the old man’s car
I’ve got a jazz guitar
I’ve got a tab at Zanzibar
Tonight that’s where I’ll be

Rose, he knows he’s such a credit to the game
But the Yankees grab the headline every time
Melodrama’s so much fun
In black and white for everyone to see
Me, I’m trying just to get to second base
And I’d steal it if she only gave the sign
She’s gonna give the go ahead
The inning isn’t over yet for me

I’ve got the old man’s car
I’ve got a jazz guitar
I’ve got a tab at Zanzibar
Tonight that’s where I’ll be

Tell the waitress I’ll come back to Zanzibar
I’ll be hiding in the darkness with my beer
She’s waiting out in Shantytown
She’s gonna pull the curtains down for me, for me

I’ve got the old man’s car
I’ve got a jazz guitar
I’ve got a tab at Zanzibar
Tonight that’s where I’ll be

Preemptive Strike II: Shock & Awe

I’ve been in music heaven of late. Tirelessly burning several hundred compact disks to my computer. A lifetime’s worth of music. I’m roughly half way done, and my library has 15 days of music in it. HALF WAY MIND YOU.

So, my nation has decided to attack that other playlist before they attack us. Again.

Therefor, we have this bastard child of my imagination and my estranged musical palate. It’s a monkey in the wrench. It leads you one way, and then goes somewhere entirely different. It’s a barf-roller-coaster-from-hell ride of joy, laughter and misery.

  1. Suite: Judy Blue Eyes – Crosby, Stills & Nash
  2. Bitterblue – Cat Stevens
  3. Highway To Hell – AC/DC
  4. Rage – Quake II (Sonic Mayhem)
  5. Alone – Heart
  6. Man In The Mirror – Michael Jackson
  7. If You Could Read My Mind – Gordon Lightfoot
  8. Why Should I Cry For You – Sting
  9. Betterman – Pearl Jam
  10. Dust – Fleetwood Mac
  11. Lady – Little River Band
  12. The One – Elton John
  13. All Over You – Live
  14. In Thee – Blue Oyster Cult
  15. We Built This City – Starship
  16. Zanzibar – Billy Joel
  17. Valarie – Steve Winwood
  18. Rosanna – Toto

 

I sincerely hope you make this playlist and hear it all the way. I made it knida hard on you all with that track from the Quake 2 pc game soundtrack. Fucked story that one is.

I’m on Highway To Hell, and cruising along. See you on the flip side of today.

Got A Project! Yipee!

I’ve been going through all the music my family owns, in compact disk format. It’s about 5 small moving boxes full to the top with CDs. Probably over 500 titles. Going through and burning every CD to my hard drive is a daunting task, needless to say; that’s exactly what I’ve been up to the last couple of days.  I found the J through S box, and just came home with the C through J box to work on today. I know there’s a A through C box that has a bunch of stuff that I pulled out of the collection in it. All out of alphabetical order, but eh. We’re just storing them for now. All 12 bazillion CDs normally go on a six foot tall rotating spindle, which is sitting in our storage unit with no disks on it. Getting the picture here?

The CD boxes are under the mattress, which makes getting the next box after this one a chore. We’re going to have to pull everything out, grab the boxes we want, and then reassemble it as best we can, given the arbitrary nature of balancing half full boxes of previous lives against each other.

I’m calculating a total volume of +500 gigabytes. That’s including the 65 gigs I already had on my computer. So, big, right? It’s an insane amount of music, spanning a 20 year history of collecting CDs through mail order catalogs and music clubs. It’s the most extensive and diverse collection of albums I’ve ever been shown, and now it will be entirely captured in my computer; able to be summoned or dismissed at my the crux of my whims.

Some real rare gems in here. I’ve heard maybe 1/3 of the whole collection in all the years we had it. It’s deep, for sure.

I intend to craft some truly unique and memorable playlists before this deal is done. Be warned of music-related posts coming in the near future.

Peace friends, and listen well.

 

 

May Mood Album: Introspelunking Adventures, HO!

This “self-exploitative” exercise 3 months running is designed to capture my state of mind in music, as best I can describe my circumstance and emotional health. I try to make each album a narrative journey of some kind, not based on the obvious like lyrics or titles. I observe tone, content, message, theme. Then I place songs next to each other forming tonal journeys through the highs and lows of the prearranged songs. So there you have it, and this month composition is listed below, color coded with thematic/tonal designations implied.

 

May Mood Album: Introspelunking Adventures, HO!

  1. Runnin’ With The Devil – Van Halen
  2. Head Games – Foreigner
  3. I Will Not Go Quietly – Don Henley
  4. Living On A Prayer – Jon Bon Jovi
  5. Sorrow – Bad Religion
  6. Since You’re Gone – The Cars
  7. I’ll Be Over You – Toto
  8. The Boxer – Simon and Garfunkel
  9. Nothing To Say – Jethro Tull
  10. That’s The Way It Goes – George Harrison
  11. Are We Ourselves? – The Fixx
  12. Walking On A Thin Line – Huey Lewis & The News
  13. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams – Green Day
  14. Roam – The B52’s
  15. Like A Prayer – Madonna
  16. Carpet Of The Sun – Renaissance
  17. Time Out Of Mind – Steely Dan
  18. Higher Love – Steve Winwood

 

The Police – King Of Pain

There’s a little black spot on the sun today
It’s the same old thing as yesterday
There’s a black hat caught in a high tree top
There’s a flag pole rag and the wind won’t stop

I have stood here before in the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running ’round my brain.
I guess I’m always hoping that you’ll end this reign,
But it’s my destiny to be the king of pain…

There’s a fossil that’s trapped in a high cliff wall
There’s a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
There’s a blue whale beached by a springtime’s ebb
There’s a butterfly trapped in a spider’s web

There’s a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There’s a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There’s a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There’s a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

There’s a red fox torn by a huntsman’s pack
There’s a black-winged gull with a broken back
There’s a little black spot on the sun today.
It’s the same old thing as yesterday,

April Mood Album – Something Wicked This Way Comes

An album capturing rejection and acceptance all in one go. Let me know if you build the album and you have thoughts about the flow of tone across the playlist.

 

1 Hour, 15 minutes:

 

1. Africa – Toto
2. The Other Guy – Little River Band
3. I Keep Forgettin’ (Every Time You’re Near) – Michael McDonald
4. King Of Pain – The Police
5. Too Low For Zero – Elton John
6. A Letter To Both Sides – The Fixx
7. Second Hand Store – Joe Walsh
8. Creep – Radiohead
9. Sign In Stranger – Steely Dan
10. I Won’t Back Down – Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers
11. Dreams – The Cranberries
12. Everywhere – Fleetwood Mac
13. Paparazzi – Lady GaGa
14. Just Like Paradise – David Lee Roth
15. New Sensation – INXS
16. Right Here Right Now – Jesus Jones
17. Don’t Stop Believin’ – Journey
18. Northern Lights – Renaissance
19. Back In The High Life Again – Steve Winwood

Tom Petty – I Won’t Back Down

Well I won’t back down,
No I won’t back down.
You could stand me up at the gates of hell,
But I won’t back down.

Gonna stand my ground,
Won’t be turned around.
And I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down,
Gonna stand my ground,
And I won’t back down.

Hey baby,
There ain’t no easy way out.
Hey I will stand my ground,
And I won’t back down.

Well I know what’s right,
I got just one life.
In a world that keeps on pushin’ me around,
But I’ll stand my ground,
And I won’t back down.

You’re The Only Woman – Ambrosia

**For You.

 

Oh baby… say now you,
You talk about the things I do…
But baby, I yeah I’ll try an’ explain the reasons why
‘Cause I’ve been thinkin’ ’bout the things that we said late last night
When every word I said just didn’t come out right
And you were so afraid that I’d found someone new
But darlin’, well, there’s no need for what we’re goin’ through

Because you and I’ve been in love too long
To worry ’bout tomorrow
Here’s a place where we both belong
I know you’re the only woman that I’m dreamin’ of
You’re the only woman that I really love

Baby, see what a foolish heart has done for me
Darlin’, why yeah would you break my heart and make me cry?
Well now, you can’t go back and change the way things are
And all this, this foolish talk won’t take us very far
And so I hope you’re listenin’ ’cause I’m tellin’ you
About the, the way I feel and what I’m goin’ through

Because you and I’ve been in love too long
To worry ’bout tomorrow
Here’s a place where we both belong
I know you’re the only woman I’ve been dreamin’ of
(You’re the only woman that I’m dreamin’ of)
I say, you’re the only woman that I really love
(You’re the only woman that I really love)

March 2014 Mood Playlist – Flying Away

Colors as Moods:

1. Young Hearts Run Free – Candi Station
2. How Deep Is Your Love – Bee Gees
3. Cruel Summer – Bananarama
4. Hard To Say I’m Sorry/Get Away – Chicago
5. Sacrifice – Sinéad O’Connor (Elton John)
6. Tainted Love – Soft Cell
7. Time – The Alan Parsons Project
8. Rock Of Ages – Def Leppard
9. Sledgehammer – Peter Gabriel
10. The One And Only – Chesney Hawkes
11. Free Fallin’ – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
12. 49 Bye-Byes – Crosby, Stills and Nash
13. Greed – Godsmack
14. Nursie – Jethro Tull
15. Beautiful Stranger – Madonna
16. Something About You – Level 42
17. Paparazzi – Lady GaGa
18. Keep On Going – Fleetwood Mac
19. Valarie – Steve Winwood

Words for the Wicked

GALINDA:
I hope you’re happy
Now that you’re choosing this

ELPHABA:
(spoken) You too
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss

BOTH:
I really hope you get it
And you don’t live to regret it
I hope you’re happy in the end
I hope you’re happy, my friend:

ELPHABA:

So if you care to find me–
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
“Everyone deserves the chance to fly!”
And if I’m flying solo,
At least I’m flying free!
To those who’d ground me,
Take a message back from me:
Tell them how I am–
Defying gravity–
I’m flying high–
Defying gravity–
And soon I’ll match them in renown,
And nobody in all of Oz,
No Wizard that there is or was,
Is ever gonna bring me down!

Time – The Alan Parsons Project

Time,
Flowing like a river.
Time,
Beckoning me…
Who knows when we shall meet again–
If ever.
But time,
Keeps flowing like a river,
To the sea.

Goodbye my love,

Maybe for forever
Goodbye my love,

The tide waits for me.
Who knows when we shall meet again–
If ever.
But time,
Keeps flowing like a river (on and on),
To the sea, to the sea.

Till it’s gone…

Forever,
Gone forever….
Gone forevermore.

“Never Give Up, NEVER SURRENDER!”

When life kicks you straight in the mommy-daddy-button, you’re probably going to keel over and sob. I mean, seriously, who stands there and takes it with a grin? Real life is dying of exposure in the taiga. Reality burns my flesh off with scathing fire fueled in the deep bowels of the evil hiding in my brain.

I’ll not be rid of him, but some form of regulation is an order. As of yet, the territorial lines between action and demeanor are hazy at best. Rationale seems like a concentrated offense, and usually always a brow furrowed deep in attempts to clear the murk of pain. I have no other place to vent my suffering, and my eyes literally ache from how oft I’ve cried. And I do mean oft.

I have to understand how I am myself.

I believe this new direction constitutes a militaristic coo deep within my nation, overthrowing one dictator and replacing him with a tyrant. What would Marcus Aurelius think? I still think we should hand the nation off to Maximus.

Russel Crowe, this comeback is dedicated to you. And Commander Peter Quincy Taggart.

I am stating it loud and clear. I am taking charge of my life and living it proudly, and for my health, and for my future and I will kick the living monkey piss out of this feeling. I will do that, then we shall have victory cake, which is “so delicious and moist.”

So, GLaDOS earns a dedication. Or at least a reference.

I’m going on from this. I am clearly useful in some capacity. I have an application in the real world. I posses skill, and loads of other great, personable, cherish-able attributes. My Mind’s Eye Theater character sheet reads:

Nature – Reluctant Self-hating Puppy Dog Faced Inebriated Nincompoop
Demeanor – Phantom -Mask’d Intellectual Roller-Coaster With Sparks and Flames Shooting Off It Going Upside-down at 90 Miles An Hour And We Just Came Off The ************** Tracks!!!!

I mean, there is likely some middle ground here. I think I need to get this negative voice, its malicious intent and other crap that goes on in the background. All the voices. The Ghost. It’s there, talking to me. It’s saying things that cause my soul to die a little as I listen. I try not too. I’m working  on a new angle.

I will probably be making incremental steps toward making my usefulness a sharp, pointed weapon. And I will poke doubters, disbelievers and other d word-ers for  their doings derogatory SQUARE IN THE EYE. Poke. Poke. POKE.

Nar.

For now, I am just letting you know that I am still kicking. Still fighting.

Not going down. So here I stand…

“The cold never bothered me anyway.”

MUSIC Snapshot: February 2014

So, I’m going to publish a CD-length playlist every so often so I can express my current state as music. It has sort of an 80s feel with a touch of absurdity and sexual (not so) sublimity. Because, yeah… I think the playlist is complementary of the existing styles and mediums presented on this site. So, here goes the Winter 2014 snapshot, hope you build it and enjoy where I’m at in my life at this moment. Should be largely inspirational?

1. Money For Nothing – Dire Stratis
2. Cruel Summer – Bananarama
3. Laid So Low (Tears Roll Down) – Tears For Fears
4. Beds Are Burning – Midnight Oil
5. King Of Pain – The Police
6. Missing You – John Waite
7. Turn Your Love Around – George Benson
8. Sledgehammer – Peter Gabriel
9. Learning To Fly – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
10. Goin’ Up The Country – Canned Heat
11. Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen
12. Valarie – Steve Winwood
13. More Than A Woman – Bee Gees
14. Reminiscing – Little River Band
15. Animal – Def Leppard
16. WIld Sex (In The Working Class) – Oingo Boingo
17. Feel Like Makin’ Love – Bad Company
18. Gimmie All Your Lovin’ – ZZ Top
19. You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates

The Minstrel In The Gallery – Jethro Tull

The minstrel in the gallery,
Looked down upon the smiling faces.
He met the gazes–
Observed the spaces,
Between the old man’s cackle.
He brewed a song of love and hatred,
Oblique suggestions–
And he waited.
He polarized the pumpkin-eaters,
Static-humming panel-beaters,
Freshly day-glowed factory cheaters,
Salaried, and collar-scrubbing.
He titillated men of action,
Belly-warming–
Hands still rubbing,
On the parts they never mention.
He pacified the nappy-suffering,
Infant-bleating one-line jokers.
T.V. documentary makers,
Overfed and undertakers.
Sunday paper backgammon players.
Family-scarred and women haters.

And he called the band down to the stage–
And he looked,
At all the friends he’d made.

Soul-Crushing Jams

Not sure why I made this playlist. It’s trapped on my iPhone because if I sync it, it will go bye bye. There is no copy on my PC to sync with anymore because I got too sad last time I listened to it and deleted the fucking thing.

Now I sit here in the dark waiting for Birdy to be off work. I have thus found a new place and time to crush my happy feelings into goop and revel in bad memories these crappy songs invoke.

I may have already posted this a while back. Disregard if that is so.

It’s supposed to have a “happy ending…” but I’m beginning to doubt the validity of that claim.

1. George Michael (Elton John) – Tonight
2. Gary Jules (Tears for Fears) – Mad World
3. Christina Perri – Jar of Hearts
4. Chris Isaac – Wicked Game
5. Heart – Alone
6. Elton John – Sacrifice
7. Anita Baker – No One in the World
8. Earth, Wind & Fire – After the Love is Gone
9. The Beach Boys – God Only Knows
10. K.D. Lang – Constant Craving
11. Crosby, Stills & Nash – Helplessly Hoping
12. Dan Fogelberg & Tim Weisberg – Lazy Susan
13. Sting – You Still Touch Me
14. Basia – Yearning
15. Des’ree – Kissing You
16. Oh! Darling – The Bestles
17. Chicago – Just You ‘n’ Me
18. Al Green – Lets Stay Together
19. Joe Satriani – Always With Me, Always With You

Missing You – Dan Fogelberg

Hard days I’m traveling alone for too long
I’m missing you
I’m always somewhere that I never belong
I’m missing you

I’m moving so fast now it doesn’t seem true
I’m missing you
I’m getting closer but I don’t know what to
I’m missing you

If I had you beside me
Then I, just might sleep through the night
Your love, is the promise that guides me
All of the days of my life

This life I’m living’s getting so hard to feel
I’m missing you
The days are empty and the nights are unreal
I’m missing you

If I had you beside me
Then I just might sleep through the night
Your love is the promise that guides me
All of the days of my life,

All of the days of my life

Hard days, I’m traveling alone for too long
I’m missing you
I’m always somewhere that I never belong
I’m missing you

If I had you beside me
Then I, just might sleep through the night
Your love, is the promise that guides me
All of the days of my life,

All of the days of my life

All of the days of my life

Amarillo

The Christmas CD Contest is still a ways off, but I’ve (of course) already compiled my playlist. I think I’m going to have a FANTASTIC and RAD 75 minutes of music when it comes time to play the CD.

This year’s theme, contributed by my beautiful wife, is “Color.”

I leave it up to interpretive guesses, to determine the nature of my CD, and ultimately, its color.  As represented through pace, mood, tempo and sometimes lyrics. It’s pretty much a DEAD GIVEAWAY. The object, for me, is not to ponder over the color, but identify with it and ponder over choices, rather than trying to figure out what color I picked.

1:17:36

  1. Funeral for a Friend / Love Lies Bleeding – Elton John
  2. Kyrie – Mr. Mister
  3. Roam – The B-52’s
  4. All Star – Smashmouth
  5. My Town – Buck-O-Nine
  6. Shining Star – Earth, Wind & Fire
  7. What a Fool Believes – Michael McDonald
  8. Rosana – Toto
  9. So Much to Say – Dave Matthews Band
  10. Little Lion Man – Mumford & Sons
  11. Dreams – The Cranberries
  12. Panama – Van Halen
  13. Tribute – Tenacious D
  14. Starlight – Muse
  15. Animal – Def Leppard
  16. No Rain – Blind Melon
  17. I’ll Follow the Sun – The Beatles
  18. Yellow – Coldplay

Make the playlist, listen to it, and FEEL THE COLOR.

The Name Of My New Band!

In honor of the hysterically funny Dave, Shelly and Chainsaw radio program here in San Diego, I present the collected list of MY OWN PERSONAL names of my new bands collected over the past several months. Thanks for the GREAT IDEA Dave! Love your show!

  1. Sock On My Penis
  2. Pee In My Pie
  3. Poontang Nightmares
  4. You Have Butt In Your Mouth
  5. Underwear On My Head
  6. Dirty Sock Birdy
  7. Never Had Spicy Butthole
  8. I Can Taste The Chunks
  9. Slowly Open Your Butt
  10. Dicks On Fire
  11. Don’t Throw The Paper Doughnut
  12. Ripped-Up Butthole Syndrome
  13. Vaginal Farts
  14. Shart The Bed
  15. Spiky Butt Hair
  16. Pee In My Face
  17. This Sucks My Ass-Balls
  18. Secret Handjob In My Face
  19. Because My Penis Fell Off
  20. Making Duck Pizza
  21. Blind Me With Your Beard
  22. Rusty Dog Farts
  23. Underwear Bats
  24. I’m A Marshmallow Cactus
  25. Ride The Pickle-Pony
  26. Two Blobs Of Jelly Fighting In Space
  27. Oh Shit On A Noggin Toot
  28. Twitching Piles Of Piss And Shit
  29. OMG My Burritos Are Already Too Fat
  30. Foamy Butt-Spray
  31. Pinch The Brown Dog

And SURELY more to come as time passes…

Hunting Girl – Jethro Tull

One day I walked the road
And crossed a field to go
By where the hounds ran hard.
And on the master raced:
Behind the hunters chased
To where the path was barred.
One fine young lady’s horse refused the fence to clear.
I unlocked the gate
But she did wait
Until the pack had disappeared.

Crop handle carved in bone;
Sat high upon a throne
Of finest English leather.
The queen of all the pack,
This joker raised his hat
And talked about the weather.
All should be warned about this high born Hunting Girl.
She took this simple man’s downfall in hand;
I raised the flag that she unfurled.

Boot leather flashing and spur-necks the size of my thumb.
This highborn hunter had tastes as strange as they come.

Unbridled passion: I took the bit in my teeth.
Her standing over — me on my knees underneath.

My lady, be discrete.
I must get to my feet
And go back to the farm.
Whilst I appreciate
You are no deviate,
I might come to some harm.
I’m not inclined to act refined–
If that’s how it goes.
Oh, high born Hunting Girl,
I’m just–
A normal low born so and so.

Defying Gravity – Wicked

GLINDA (spoken) Elphie – why couldn’t you have stayed calm for once, instead of flying off the handle! (sung) I hope you’re happy! I hope you’re happy now I hope you’re happy how you Hurt your cause forever I hope you think you’re clever!

ELPHABA I hope you’re happy I hope you’re happy, too I hope you’re proud how you Would grovel in submission To feed your own ambition
BOTH So though I can’t imagine how I hope you’re happy right now

GLINDA (spoken) Elphie, listen to me. Just say you’re sorry: (sung) You can still be with the Wizard What you’ve worked and waited for You can
have all you ever wanted:

ELPHABA (spoken) I know: (sung) But I don’t want it – No – I can’t want it Anymore:
Something has changed within me Something is not the same I’m through with playing by the rules Of someone else’s game Too late for second-
guessing Too late to go back to sleep It’s time to trust my instincts Close my eyes: and leap!

It’s time to try Defying gravity I think I’ll try Defying gravity And you can’t pull me down!

GLINDA Can’t I make you understand? You’re having delusions of grandeur:

ELPHABA I’m through accepting limits ”cause someone says they’re so Some things I cannot change But till I try, I’ll never know! Too long I’ve
been afraid of Losing love I guess I’ve lost Well, if that’s love It comes at much too high a cost! I’d sooner buy Defying gravity Kiss me goodbye I’m
defying gravity And you can’t pull me down: (spoken) Glinda – come with me. Think of what we could do: together.

(sung) Unlimited Together we’re unlimited Together we’ll be the greatest team There’s ever been

Glinda – Dreams, the way we planned ’em

GLINDA If we work in tandem:

BOTH There’s no fight we cannot win Just you and I Defying gravity With you and I Defying gravity

ELPHABA They’ll never bring us down! (spoken) Well? Are you coming?

GLINDA I hope you’re happy Now that you’re choosing this

ELPHABA (spoken) You too (sung) I hope it brings you bliss

BOTH I really hope you get it And you don’t live to regret it I hope you’re happy in the end I hope you’re happy, my friend:

ELPHABA So if you care to find me Look to the western sky! As someone told me lately: “Ev’ryone deserves the chance to fly!” And if I’m flying
solo At least I’m flying free To those who’d ground me Take a message back from me Tell them how I am Defying gravity I’m flying high Defying
gravity And soon I’ll match them in renown And nobody in all of Oz No Wizard that there is or was Is ever gonna bring me down!

GLINDA I hope you’re happy!

CITIZENS OF OZ Look at her, she’s wicked! Get her!

ELPHABA :Bring me down!

 

Moths – Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull)

Oh, the leaded window opened,
To move the dancing candle flame.
And the first moths of summer—
Suicidal, came.
Suicidal, came.

And the new breeze chattered,
In its May-bud tenderness,
Sending water-lilies sailing,
As she turned to get undressed.

And the long night awakened.
And we soared on powdered wings.
Circling our tomorrows,
In the weary month of Spring.
Chasing shadows slipping,
In the magic lantern slide.
Creatures of the candle,
On a night-light-ride.
Dipping and weaving,
Flutter,
Through the golden needle’s eye.
In our haystack madness—
Butterfly-stroking on a Spring-tide high,
On a Spring-tide high.

Life’s too long:
As the Lemming said.
As the candle burned, and the moths were wed.
And we’ll all burn together, as the wick grows higher,
Before the candle’s dead.

Oh, the leaded window opened,
To move the dancing candle flame.
And the first moths of summer—
Suicidal, came.
Suicidal, came.
To join in the worship,
Of the light that never dies,
In the moment’s reflection—
Of two moths spinning in her eyes.

BiPolar Beebops Christmas CD Contest RESULTS REVEALED

My CD, Bipolar Beebops, was OFFICIALLY SUBMITTED for the Christmas CD Contest. Today, my “judges” sat down and partook of the musical insanity-driven roller-coaster that is my 2012 CD. They thoroughly LOVED it, and might easily hand me the crown this year, after Daddo makes his submission tomorrow. I CAN SAY that I TOASTED Moo’s submission. ROCKED IT RIGHT OUT OF IT’S COMFY LITTLE SPOT IN 1st PLACE.

My CD was not only a musical journey, but an EXAMINATION of their MUSICAL PROWESS. The 21 track CD was ALSO a fill-in-the-blank examination worth 50 points (with some tracks being HARDER to name than others, and therefore, worth 3 instead of 2). Below is the scorecard I used to grade their answers. Admittedly, there are some seriously “difficult to identify” musical selections in there. This is not a test for the faint of heart. Have your shit together, or you’re not getting far.

  1. (3) The Big Rock Candy Mountains – Harry McClintock – O Brother Where Art Thou
  2. (2) Somebody To Love – Jefferson Airplane – Apollo 13
  3. (2) On The Road To Find Out – Cat Stevens – Harold and Maude
  4. (2) Holiday – Madonna – The Wedding Singer
  5. (2) Main Titles – Danny Elfman – Beetlejuice
  6. (2) I Just Can’t Get Enough – Depeche Mode – The Wedding Singer
  7. (2) The Entertainer (Orchestra Version) – Marvin Hamlisch – The Sting
  8. (3) The One & Only – Chesney Hawkes – Doc Hollywood
  9. (2) Cheer Down – George Harrison – Lethal Weapon 2
  10. (2) You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates – The Wedding Singer
  11. (3) Son Of A Preacher Man – Dusty Springfield – Pulp Fiction
  12. (3) If I Can’t Have You – Yvonne Elliman – Saturday Night Fever
  13. (2) Kissing You – Des’ree – Romeo + Juliet
  14. (2) What Would Brian Boitano Do? – Matt Stone and Trey Parker – South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
  15. (2) Scarborough Fair/Canticle – Simon and Garfunkel – The Graduate
  16. (3) Du Hast – Rammstein – The Matrix
  17. (2) Top Gun Anthem – Harold Faltermeyer & Steve Stevens – Top Gun
  18. (2) I’ll Fly Away – Alison Krauss & Gillian Welch – O Brother Where Art Thou?
  19. (3) Tequila – The Champs – The Sandlot
  20. (2) Footloose – Kenny Loggins – Footloose
  21. (2) What Would Brian Boitano Do? Pt. II – D.V.D.A – South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut

So, then I had them sit down and listen to BiPolar Beebops, and take the exam at the same time. THE RESULTS ARE SAD. be warned, music GURUS. This is a woeful, truly dismal display of musical knowledge. View the test results at your own risk. First, the WINNER of the exam portion of the presentation. Congratz to the winner… though, I’m not hanging my hat on your score.

Moo Page 1

Moo Page 2

Daddo Page 1

Daddo Page 2

YOU GUYS. Come on. NO ONE COULD MANAGE A PASSING GRADE?

EITHER WAY: I like my chances at becoming the next “GRAND CHAMPION KING of Christmas.” Oh yeah. Bring it on, Holiday BITCHES.

If I Can’t Have You – Barry Gibb (Yvonne Elliman)

Don’t know why,
I’m surviving every lonely day,
When there’s got to be,
No chance for me–
My life would end.

And it doesn’t matter how I cry.
My tears of love–
A waste of time,
If I turn away.
Am I strong enough to see it through?
Go crazy is what I will do…

If I can’t have you:
I don’t want nobody, baby–
If I can’t have you.

If I can’t have you,
I don’t want nobody, baby–
If I can’t have you.

Can’t let go.
And it doesn’t matter how I try.
I gave it all,
So easily–
To you, my love.
To dreams that never will come true?
Am I strong enough to see it through?
Go crazy is what I will do…

If I can’t have you:
I don’t want nobody, baby–
If I can’t have you.

If I can’t have you,
I don’t want nobody, baby–
If I can’t have you.

The One – Elton John

I saw you dancing out the ocean,
Running fast along the sand.
A spirit born of earth and water,
Fire flying from your hands.

In the instant that you love someone–
In the second that the hammer hits;
Reality runs up your spine,
And the pieces finally fit.

And all I ever needed was the one.
Like freedom fields where wild horses run.
When stars collide like you and I,
No shadows block the sun.
You’re all I’ve ever needed,
Baby you’re the one.

There are caravans we follow,
Drunken nights in dark hotels.
When chances breathe between the silence,
Where sex and love no longer gel.

For each man in his time is Cain,
Until he walks along the beach–
And sees his future in the water,
A long lost heart within his reach.

And all I ever needed was the one.
Like freedom fields where wild horses run.
When stars collide like you and I,
No shadows block the sun.
You’re all I’ve ever needed,
Baby you’re the one.

Straight To My Heart – Sting

In a hundred years from now,
They will attempt to tell us how,
A scientific means to bliss–
Will supersede the human kiss.

A sub-atomic chain,
Will maybe galvanize your brain–
Or a biochemic trance,
Will eliminate romance.

But why ever should we care,
When there are arrows in the air,
Formed by lovers’ ancient art,
That go straight to my heart?

Straight to my heart.

A future sugar-coated pill,
Would give our lovers time to kill…
I think they’re working far too much,
For the redundancy of touch.

But what will make me yours,
Are a millions deadly spores,
Formed by lovers’ ancient art,
That go straight to my heart?

Straight to my heart.

Come into my door,
Be the light in my life.
Come into my door,
You’ll never have to sweep the floor.
Come into my door,
Be the light in my life.
Come into my door,
Come and be my wife.

I’ll be true…
To no one but you.

If it’s a future would we fear,
We have tomorrow’s seeds right here–
You can hold them in your hand,
Or let them fall into the sand.

But if our love is pure,
The only thing of which we’re sure,
That you can play your part,
And fly straight to my heart.

Straight to my heart

If I should seek immunity,
And love you with impunity,
Then the only thing to do,
Is for me to pledge myself to you.

Only dealt one card,
So for me it is not hard.
You’re the bright star in my chart,
You go straight to my heart.

Straight to my heart

Come into my door,
Be the light in my life.
Come into my door,
You’ll never have to sweep the floor.
Come into my door,
Be the light in my life.
Come into my door,
Come and be my wife.

I’ll be true…
To no one but you.

Straight to my heart.

Planet WEB5-12052012

  1. Unwell – Matchbox 20
  2. Time Is Running Out – Muse
  3. Dissident – Pearl Jam
  4. Born Of A Broken Man – Rage Against The Machine
  5. 21st Century Breakdown – Green Day
  6. You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away – The Beatles
  7. Still Alive – GLaDOS
  8. Give Me Novocaine – Green Day
  9. Jump – Van Halen
  10. Just Like Heaven – The Cure
  11. Save Tonight – Eagle-Eye Cherry
  12. Photograph – Def Leppard
  13. Californication – Red Hot Chili Peppers
  14. Sunshine Of Your Love – Eric Clapton
  15. I Want You So Bad – Heart
  16. Everywhere – Fleetwood Mac
  17. Drive – Incubus
  18. Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) – Green Day

Alone – Heart

I hear the ticking of the clock
I’m lying here the room’s pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won’t end though
Alone

Till now
I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

You don’t know how long I have wanted
To touch your lips and hold you tight, oh
You don’t know how long I have waited
And I was gonna tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown
Alone

Till now
I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone

Elephant – Boa [For Birdy]

If I was to hold one hand over my face now
Would you know me?
Or would you see the other side of me?
And if you were to notice
There is a plan I’ve been devising
To go, to go now, far away from here
And I gonna be so brave
And I gonna go so far away

Where are the wise men?
Where have they all gone to
Did they follow the spirit children
Down the road that only they know?
And you and I know that the answer lies
Somewhere deep in the city of skies
We’re gonna go there
We’re gonna go there
We’re gonna see the daylight
And I, gonna fly away now
And I, gonna go where the path runs high

Oh, I’m searching, Oh yeah.

I’m gonna go there, I’m gonna travel
I’m gonna see my through and
You can follow
We can go together
Trunk in hand we’re gonna go

Isn’t it touching the way the trees hold the leaves
Into the sky
And when the breeze blows
All you can see is the green and gold
You and I know that the city holds, the street night lights
And we’re gonna find it
We’re gonna find the gold that illuminates our lives
And I, gonna go so far away
And I, gonna see the stars up high

Hear me out, hear me out
I’m searching
Hear me out, yeah

We can go there, we can travel
Over the motorway, over the valley
All the way there with your gentle spirit
I am not afraid
With your gentle spirit
I am not afraid
I am not afraid
I am not afraid
I am not afraid

Lovesong – The Cure

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like i am home again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

Revamped Playlist: Puppy Sniff Nookie Dance

So, I gutted the Marshmallow Sponge. The BiPolar MODERN Love Polka is no more. In it’s place, is this playlist, which solidly kicks ass, and completes an articulate emotional narrative. No question, this playlist kicks fucking ass. Warning: If you are not TOTALLY INSANE, as I am, you may not want to point this playlist at anyone you care about. I’m not responsible for what happens due to long-term exposure. You’re life is in your hands, bub.

I will be describing this to Birdy as: A blending of our two sounds, with love and BiPolar disorder thrown in there for fun.

  1. Love Song – 311
  2. Talk Show Host – Radiohead
  3. What You Know – Two Door Cinema Club
  4. Elephant – Boa
  5. Undisclosed Desires – Muse
  6. Testify – Rage Against The Machine
  7. Hanging By A Moment – Lifehouse
  8. Silver And Cold – AFI
  9. Such Great Heights – The Postal Service
  10. Say It Ain’t So – Weezer
  11. Karma Police – Radiohead
  12. Hemorrhage (In MY Hands) – Fuel
  13. Sheep Go To Heaven – CAKE
  14. Jealousy – Natalie Merchant
  15. Love Game – Lady GaGa
  16. Thank You – Dido
  17. Constant Craving – K.D. Lang
  18. Feeling Good – Muse
  19. Bring Me To Life – Evanescence

BiPolar MODERN Love Polka

So, this is a sad little love-story playlist. It’s Biploar, like us, and full of marshmallow love and slam-bam rock. If that makes any fucking sense at all. Seriously, mix it, and get some idea for what Birdy and I are feeling.

Though, she’d be all mad at the old people music interspersed with the hip shit. HAHAHAHA. Love you Birdy.

King Of Pain – The Police
The Stranger – Billy Joel
Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me – Elton John
Save A Prayer – Duran Duran
Steal My Sunshine – Len
Feeling Good – Muse
Hemorrhage (In My Hands) – Fuel
Three Little Birds – Bob Marley
Testify – Rage Against The Machine
Take On Me – a-Ha
Borderline – Madonna
Hanging By A Moment – Lifehouse
Starlight – Muse
Love Song – 311
What You Know – Two Door Cinema Club
Little Star – Stina Nordenstam
Teeth – Lady GaGa
Talk Show Host – Radiohead
Undisclosed Desires – Muse

What You Know – Two Door Cinema Club

In a few weeks, I will get time
To realize it’s right before my eyes
And I can take it, if it’s what I want to do

I am leaving, this is starting
To feel like it’s right before my eyes
And I can taste it, it’s my sweet beginning

And I can tell just what you want
You don’t want to be alone
You don’t want to be alone

And I can’t say it’s what you know
But you’ve known it the whole time
Yeah, you’ve known it the whole time

Maybe next year I’ll have no time
To think about the questions to address
Am I the one to try to stop the fire?

I wouldn’t test you
I’m not the best you could have attained
Why try anything?
I will get there, just remember I know

And I can tell just what you want
You don’t want to be alone
You don’t want to be alone

And I can’t say it’s what you know
But you’ve known it the whole time
Yeah, you’ve known it the whole time

And I can tell just what you want
You don’t want to be alone
You don’t want to be alone

And I can’t say it’s what you know
But you’ve known it the whole time
Yeah, you’ve known it the whole time

Marshmallow Sponge Playlist

Sorry in advance for this crappy, shitty insane mush-tard playlist. I love her so much, I can’t do anything but be a total dork about it. So I made this REDICULOUS LOOOOOOVE playlist, to articulate just how banana-bonkers-head-over-heels I am in love with Birdy. This album such a piece of crap. Seriously, unlistenable unless you are ME. It’s like the chick-flick of playlists. It’s the gay-straight guy’s ballad to sexy Birdy girl.

Marshmallow Sponge

  1. Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love Baby – Barry White
  2. I Just Can’t Stop Loving You – Michael Jackson
  3. Linger – The Cranberries
  4. Constant Craving – K.D. Lang
  5. Rolling In The Deep – Adele
  6. Let’s Stay Together – Al Green
  7. Until You Come Back To Me – Hil St. Soul
  8. What You Won’t Do For Love – Bobby Caldwell
  9.  Hold Me Now – Thompson Twins
  10. Closer To Fine – Indigo Girls
  11. Roam – The B-52’s
  12. I Love You Always Forever – Donna Lewis
  13. Sweet Love – Anita Baker
  14. Escapade – Janet Jackson
  15. Paradise – Sade
  16. Wonder – Natalie Merchant
  17. Power Of Two – Indigo Girls
  18. I’ll Fly Away – Alison Krauss & Gillian Welch

Last Night On Earth – Green Day

I text a postcard,

Sent to you,

Did it go through?

Sending all my love to you.

You are the moonlight of my life,

Every night.

Giving all my love to you.

My beating heart belongs to you.

I walked for miles ’til I found you.

I’m here to honor you,

If I lose everything in the fire–

I’m sending all my love to you.

With every breath that I am worth,

Here on Earth,

I’m sending all my love to you.

So if you dare to second guess,

You can rest,

Assured that all my love’s for you.

My beating heart belongs to you.

I walked for miles ’til I found you.

I’m here to honor you.

If I lose everything in the fire–

I’m sending all my love to you.

My beating heart belongs to you.

I walked for miles ’til I found you.

I’m here to honor you,

If I lose everything in the fire–

Did I ever make it through?

Sweet Love – Anita Baker

With all my heart,
I love you baby.
Stay with me,
And you will see my arms,
Will hold you, baby.
Never leave,
’cause I believe I’m in love,
Sweet love.
Hear me calling out your name,
I feel no shame, I’m in love,
Sweet love.
Don’t you ever go away,
It’ll always be this way.

Oh my heart has called me closer to you.
I will be,
All that you need just trust,
In what we’re feeling.
Never leave,
’cause, baby I believe in this love,
Sweet love.
Hear me calling out your name,
I feel no shame, I’m in love,
Sweet love.
Don’t you ever go away,
It’ll always be this way.

There’s no stronger love,
In this world.
Oh baby no,
You’re my man,
I’m your girl.
I’ll never go,
Wait and see,
Can’t be wrong.
Don’t you know this where you belong?

Oh my sweetest dream, and lovely baby,
Stay right here,
Never fear I will be,
All that you need.
Never leave,
’cause baby I believe in this love,
Sweet love.
Hear me calling out your name,
I feel no shame I’m in love,
Sweet love.
Don’t you ever go away,
It’ll always be this way.

ANOTHER Damn Self-Portrait Playlist!

I’m finding THIS form of expression to be more detailed than poetry, FOR THE MOMENT. You know I love to write, so don’t think that has stopped. I am just trying to communicate, albeit unconventionally, how I am or how I feel. 72 minute playlists become narratives of my personal experience. Lyrics SOMETIMES relevant, depending on interpretation. The key point is trying to assess thematic direction. What is the “composer” trying to SAY with this music? That’s the objective.

This one comes from a NEW spin on me. I am still fucking HIP as you kids say. I have DIVERSE AND MODERN musical tastes. Well, kinda. You will notice this playlist INFESTED with old fogey music, sadly.

ROLLER TOAD RETURNS:

In Hiding – Pearl Jam
Badfish – Sublime
Meet The Creeper – Rob Zombie
Bizarre Love Triangle – Stabbing Westward
Fuck You – Cee Lo Green
Mic Check – Rage Against The Machine
Engel – Rammstein
Back In Black – AC/DC
Whiskey In The Jar – Metallica
Just Dance – Lady Gaga
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams – Green Day
You Are Smart – Akitaka Tohyama
All The Small Things – Blink 182
You Really Got Me – Van Halen
September – Earth, Wind & Fire
Cherry Bomb – John Cougar Mellencamp
Atwa – System Of A Down
Falling Away From Me – Korn
Keep On Going – Fleetwood Mac

ANALYSIS

Dun Ringill – Jethro Tull (Ian Anderson)

Clear light on a slick palm
As I mis-deal the day
Slip the night from a shaved pack
Make a marked card play
Call twilight hours down
From a heaven home
High above the highest bidder
For the good Lord’s throne

In the wee hours I’ll meet you
Down by Dun Ringill —
Oh, and we’ll watch the old gods play
By Dun Ringill

We’ll wait in stone circles
`til the force comes through —
Lines joint in faint discord
And the stormwatch brews
A concert of kings
As the white sea snaps
At the heels of a soft prayer
Whispered

In the wee hours I’ll meet you
Down by Dun Ringill —
Oh, and I’ll take you quickly
By Dun Ringill

If I Fell – The Beatles

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me
Understand
‘Cause I’ve been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just
Holding hands

If I give my heart
To you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you
Would love me more than her

If I trust in you
Oh please
Don’t run and hide
If I love you too
Oh please
Don’t hurt my pride like her

‘Cause I couldn’t stand the pain
And I
Would be sad
If our new love was in vain

So I hope you see
That I
Would love to love you
And that she
Will cry
When she learns we are two

‘Cause I couldn’t stand the pain
And I
Would be sad
If our new love was in vain

So I hope you see
That I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two

If I fell in love with you…

Birdy’s Playlist: “Chia-Boy Preponderance”

If I were a Chia Pet, this is the playlist my love for you would look like.

 

Lithium – Nirvana

WANDA WANDA – Yu Miyake (Katamari Damacy OST)

Black Dog – Led Zepplin

Paparazzi – Lady Gaga

All Over You – Live

Crash Into Me – Dave Matthews Band

Sweet Emotion – Aerosmith

Yellow – Coldplay

LONELY ROLLING STAR – Yohihito Yano, Saki Kabata (Katamari Damacy OST)

What’s My Age Again? – Blink 182

You’ve Got A Chance – Bad Religion

Last Night On Earth – Green Day

This Is Love – Bob Marley

A Crimson Rose And A Gin Tonic – Asuka Sakai, Ado Mizumori (Katamari Damacy OST)

Creep – Radiohead

Deep – Pearl Jam

Spiders – System Of A Down

Wish You Were Here – Pink Floyd

Eternal Flame – The Bangles

Close your eyes,

Give me your hand…

darling

Do you feel my heart beating?

Do you understand?

Do you feel the same?

Am I only dreaming?

Is this burning an eternal flame?

I believe it’s meant to be…

darling

I watch you when you are sleeping,

You belong with me.

Do you feel the same?

Am I only dreaming?

Or is this burning an eternal flame?

 

Say my name,

Sun shines through the rain

A whole life,

So lonely

And then you come and ease the pain.

I don’t want to lose this feeling.

 

Close your eyes,

Give me your hand,

Do you feel my heart beating?

Do you understand?

Do you feel the same?

Am I only dreaming?

Is this burning an eternal flame?

Keep On Going – Fleetwood Mac

For a little peace in any season
I’d give up anything but your love
I don’t want to trade just to be happy
That’s only playing anyway
But if I dream about it, it makes me wonder
For every good thing, must you get bad?
But I won’t worry,
’Cause if I’m living on borrowed time I’m just gonna keep on
The way I’m going

Keep on, the way I’m going

For every crime, there’s retribution
And every valley has a mountainside
No, I can’t trade just to be happy
That kind of deal won’t work out right
It ain’t good to stare inside yourself too long
For every true thing there’s one more lie
But I won’t worry ’cause if I’m living on borrowed time
I’ll just try to keep on
The way I’m going

Keep on, the way I’m going

BiPolar Beebops

So, every year, out tiny little low-budget family has to come up with a creative idea about what to give each other for Christmas. Since we po, it’s usually a crafty type thing, and the last couple of years, we’ve taken it a step further. We “upped” the standard… gifts became more complex, better, stronger, faster… until…

It has become a serious competition. We have established the tradition of the annual “CD Compilation Game” which has a changing identity as the years have gone on. Let me explain, rules:

  1. Has to fit on 1 CD (72 minutes max)
  2. Must abide by the theme of the year

Pretty simple. First year, we did 2 each, a “personal portrait” CD (Which Daddo won hands down), and then a Best Rock Compilation EVAR. I do believe Moo won that one. The next year, we each had to target only songs from a decade of our choosing. I took the 70s, went Disco, and blew the roof off the house with a hands-down win.

So the score is even. This year’s theme is a killer: ONLY songs that have appeared on an OFFICIAL movie soundtrack. So, naturally, there’s a shit-ton of movie-music to dig through, but I went a slightly different way with my idea. I incorporated a narrative into my song selection. A very appropriate one, at that. I am hoping that this playlist kicks the shit out of my parent’s pitiful Christmas CD offerings. I want to win, fuck giving gifts. I want a W.

So, without further ado, here is my ROUGH draft of the playlist, which I imagine will need to be a final somewhere around thanksgiving.

 

BiPolar Beebops

The Big Rock Candy Mountains – Harry McClintock – O Brother Where Art Thou

Somebody To Love – Jefferson Airplane – Apollo 13

On The Road To Find Out – Cat Stevens – Harold and Maude

Holiday – Madonna – The Wedding Singer

Main Titles – Danny Elfman – Beetlejuice

I Just Can’t Get Enough – Depeche Mode – The Wedding Singer

The Entertainer (Orchestra Version) – Marvin Hamlisch – The Sting

The One & Only – Chesney Hawkes – Doc Hollywood

Cheer Down – George Harrison – Lethal Weapon 2

You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates – The Wedding Singer

Son Of A Preacher Man – Dusty Springfield – Pulp Fiction

If I Can’t Have You – Yyvonne Elliman – Saturday Night Fever

Kissing You – Des’ree – Romeo + Juliet

What Would Brian Boitano Do? – Matt Stone and Trey Parker – South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut

Scarborough Fair/Canticle – Simon and Garfunkel – The Graduate

Du Hast – Ramstein – The Matrix

Top Gun Anthem – Harold Faltermeyer & Steve Stevens – Top Gun

I’ll Fly Away – Alison Krauss & Gillian Welch – O Brother Where Art Thou?

Tequila – The Champs – The Sandlot

Footloose – Kenny Loggins – Footloose

What Would Brian Boitano Do? Pt. II – D.V.D.A – South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut

 

 

72  minutes on the nose

I WILL WIN THIS BITCH